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|r|A|i|N|

United States

“ending a sentence in a preposition is something up with which i will not put.”

Message to Readers

i love to receive feedback!

indecision morning

April 21, 2019

PROMPT: April

8
i woke with spindly arms tethered to the 
sheets, a flaky sun staring through
a white and gaping sill, dry lips parting, hot breath
whisking into freezing air, tears climbing down
snow-colored cheeks.  spring was cruel around me,
husking my fingers to wire-colored bones, seizing
the air playfully from my chest; and i crouched into
the blankets, the hearth that rained upon
me, embers dusting my hair, flames peaking through
the cotton of my collar.  it was a morning of indecision:
april recalling december, springtime with nostalgia
still decorating the plastic windows in lacy, clear
patterns.  i fell asleep to the biting hearth.

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  • April 21, 2019 - 8:23pm (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • luluwrites111

    I love this because it is a perfect way to describe this type of morning! It drew me in


    13 days ago
  • AbigailSauble

    I like your unique descriptions.


    2 months ago
  • RainAndSonder

    gorgeous! for some reason i really like the phrase "april recalling december." where i live there are only two seasons: gray and slightly chilly, and sunny and slightly warm, and we're currently in the latter, so i can't exactly relate, but the details are so vivid that i feel as though i were there.


    2 months ago
  • |r|A|i|N|

    thank you for your comment! yeah, i see what you mean. it’s more like the shell of a poem, but i didn’t really write it to mean much—it’s just a reflection on waking up one morning. more like a writing exercise than anything else. again, thank you! i love to receive constructive feedback and i will definitely consider your suggestions.


    2 months ago
  • Oscar_Locke

    This poem is a good start. You've got an excellent atmosphere, and the words often flow beautifully -- "cotton of my collar", "whisking into freezing air" -- but it's also missing something.

    **What does the poem mean?** Is it about the narrator deciding to change their life? A reflection on the liminal space of mornings?

    It's certainly good, but I feel with some work you can make this poem great.


    2 months ago