Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
anything would help -- even a small tiny detail that may not seem important right now.
"What the hell is living?"...It's what attracted me to this piece.
I was a little confused to be honest. But I'll explain that later
What was your inspiration??
So, I thought your beginning was great!!!!! But after the "fall"...I began to get a little confused. I think it can be fixed really easily though, just with some punctuation and correcting some word choice. For example, if you kept "all the time" with "laugh", instead of creating a new line... or you gave each part of the "you just need them, because, because..." I feel like each part should have its own line, like:
"You just need them
You love them
At least you think so"
Something like that, because you have extremely powerful writing, I just think that it needs enough space to be heard!! I really liked your piece!!! :)