Peer Review by efflorescence (United States of America)()

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why feign ignorance at the hour of our oblivion | #HomoSapiensStory

By: Anha


on the last day of the world,
i would not plant a tree.
to let its roots finger the
foreign soil under its girth,
to give it the illusion that
it might live to some greater
form would be cruel to such
a life - green, lush, then gone.

on the last day of the world,
i would not go looking for love.
we know where love can be
found, so why do we need
to go searching for more?
find me with my family,
sitting underneath our
mandarin tree - soil on your
pants doesn't matter when
there's no washing to do
tomorrow - there is none.

find me with my family, as
we watch the sun go down,
and i savour that which i love;
eating without caring for
manners or neatness - 
i will allow myself to let
the peach juice dribble down
my chin and i will lick the
sweetness from my palms;
i will play music, the songs
my parents grew up with,
and i grew to love, because
what is an ending but cinematic?
you can't have a montage
without a soundtrack. and
what better to relive than
our childhoods, when we
were bold and wild and free,
and the sun shone for days
on end, never faltering.

on the last day of the world,
i will not check the time.
there is nothing left to
wait for, nor shall i want to
count the hours, minutes,
seconds till i am oblivion.

on the last day of the world,
i will be staring into an
unforgiving star until my
vision goes black at the edges
because blindness will never
be an issue to those without
eyes. and yet, the sun
sets for the last time,
i'd like to think,
i let them close.


Message to Readers

way beyond what this prompt intended, but who cares, it's my writing.

if you enjoyed this piece, comment!! likes tell writers nothing without feedback


Peer Review

First, I just want to say that I love how you chose to expand the prompt into an entire poem! It's great that you felt inspired to put your own twist on the original idea.
The imagery in this poem (and all of your writing) is simply beautiful. Some of my favorite lines were "to let its roots finger the/ foreign soil under its girth" and "i will lick the sweetness from my palms". This kind of language makes the world you've built feel tangible, yet vague and surreal at the same.


Many, many feelings. Each stanza contained a shred of hope, only for it to be dashed by the end. For example, the beginning of the second stanza is really sweet, because it emphasizes that family is true love. But the last few lines bring the reader crashing back to reality: even though this day with family might be beautiful, there is no tomorrow. It's also interesting to note that this poem didn't make me feel scared or anxious at all. The narrator seems to have accepted this is the end of the world, and there is no panic or worry, only nostalgia and peacefulness. Instead of fearing oblivion, they welcome it with open arms.


Reviewer Comments

I'm so glad I found your poem to read! I love how you expanded on the original prompt in such a gorgeous, intricate way. You excel at subtly weaving emotions in with lush imagery, which really beckons the reader onward. Plus, your poetry flows very smoothly, and the ending left me feeling sad but content.