A Breath Into Silence

United States

Papermate gel pens and scotch-brite notebooks.

~Camp Nanowrimo Winner 2020~

INFP | 17 | she/them

Message to Readers

This is what happens when a writer asks themselves "How does a story without visuals work?" and proceeds to write that story.

I can say I've learned something really interesting about storytelling today- visual descriptions aren't as necessary as I was told. Who knew?

It turns out Saturn is beautiful after all ----- but I've run out of words to describe it

January 21, 2019



A long exhale. "Ash, help me set up the telescope."

Rustling, crunch, crunch, shhhh-shh--ratatata-shhhhh-------------------shhhh-------shh----- 

Rusty bolts protesting against adjustment ---REEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH-----

"Evan, where's the socket wrench?"

The sound of metal smacking against a palm.
REEECH, shh-ratat-shhhhh-------ratat-------------------shh---------------shh
The sound of an owl in the distance

"Hey, the viewfinder's actually right for once."

grooooaaaan, hhh-haaaa--hhhh-haaaa
Shuffling, crunch-crunch, ratatatata-shhh----shh------ratatatataratatatata-----------shhhhhhh----------------------------

"......Is that Saturn?"

"...Move over, lemme see, Ash."

Shuffle, crunch-crunch-shhhhhhhhh

"Wow, yeah."

The wind fades into the distance.
I really don't have an explanation. I'm sorry if this is confusing.


See History
  • January 21, 2019 - 10:26am (Now Viewing)

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  • luluwrites111

    I love the lack of flowery description and the dialogue that speaks true to real life experiences.

    over 1 year ago
  • Johanna

    Aww I love this... I weirdly love your lack of description and the simplicity of this. Just beautiful.

    over 1 year ago
  • RNE

    i really like this piece=D

    over 1 year ago