His hands keep moving from left to right, up and down, and in circular motions. I hate it when I can only understand half of what he is saying. I know that he has so many thoughts flowing out his hands that I just can’t seem to understand. “I….want… why… don’t…. loving….” is all that I understood one word from each single sentence. My brain can't seem to wrap around the concept of speaking through your hands. I want to learn so much more about this world from him but my mind keeps getting in my way. It kills me to know that he can understand every word that bounces of my tongue, but I can only understand a lick of what he is saying. His name, Jake is the only real thing I know about him, yet he know almost everything about me.
I meet this girl Becka, the only problem is she can’t understand lick of what I am saying. She is the only person that has really put in the time and effort into trying to understand me. I know it is hard and frustrating for her, but I hate being able to understand everything she says and for her not to understand me at all. There is so much that I want to tell her, like how much she means to me and how she is the only person that has ever truly been a friend to me.
It has been a month now of me struggling every day trying to understand just smallest bit of what is flying off his hands. I can almost understand full sentences now and I am learning more and more about him every day. I have learned the saddest and happiest moment of his life. His parents died in the accident that caused him to go deaf, yet his happiest moment was finally getting the hang of sign language and that is just one of the things we share.
Becka keeps pressuring me to get out there and not in the dating word just in the friend world. I think she has put me in the friend zone, well at least for now and that doesn’t bother me that much considering the fact that we have only know each other for a month. She is starting to understand more and more of what I am saying. She seems happier now that she know some personal things about me and I know some about her.
It had been a hard year for me I had been going through depression because of my father's death and Jake made everything seem alright. He helped me put myself back piece by piece. He shared the dark moments in his life that put him in the the shell he had created for himself over the years. I broke him out of his and he stopped me from creating mine. I feel as though sign language is our own and no one else can understand us. Ya, maybe there are some people around us that understand, but it doesn’t seem that way because whenever Jake and I talk it feels as though it is just me and him alone is this empty but beautiful world.