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Message to Readers
Any, but no flames please. I'd really like to know what you think of the characters, please. Thank you for reading.
It's a story about a snarky eleven year old girl introducing herself and her family, told in the diary format.
Your narrator has a very strong voice. Whether she's describing herself or her family, you can always see her personality filtering in.
Since this is the first chapter in an over-arcing story, I understand that you can't just jump in to the main action. This piece just felt like it was an intro, getting us familiar with the setting and the characters. You told what the narrator's parents do for a living. I felt like you skimmed over the dad, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Think about his relationship with Nikki. Does he spend a lot of time at home or interacting with her specifically? If yes, you should probably add in some more details about him since he's the only character who has yet to show up (like at dinner). If you don't feel like he plays an important role in the story, then leave the description as is.
Despite the grammar issues, I'm really enthralled by your story. I'd really like to see how Nikki's actions around her peers differs from how she behaves with her family.