It's hard some days, when my feet are aching and my legs are burning and my throat is screaming and sweat is dripping into my eyes. When my head gets sluggish and my heart thuds and all I can think is you failed you failed you failed you failed. When all I can do about it is go home and cry several hours of my life away at the bottom of the shower.
Then there are the other days, the afters and the in betweens, contradictions and lines that make sense. The flow and stutter of the piano on a rainy day. Soft laughter that fills space and breath where we might otherwise berate ourselves.
Sometimes I hit a a triple pirouette, or I nail some complicated timing, and I walk out of class smiling. It's tough love but I'll be okay! I am so in love with ballet.