Peer Review by Writers of the World (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

carbon monoxide

By: loveletterstosappho


for you,
i would have lit the world ablaze
but the oceans were too vast
and my matches too weak.

i lit myself ablaze instead. 

i nailed boards to every window within me,
closed off all the grates,
slammed shut every door, 
and turned on the flame of each stove. 

i opened the valves of every gas flame,
blasted my heating as high as it could go and then some,
started my car engine only to let it run in my gut. 

i doused myself in gasoline,
stacked charcoal among self-hatred,
struck a match along your spine,
and set alight a bonfire in my heart. 

from the fire seeped your presence,
silent killer whom i adored. 
carbon monoxide.
colorless, odorless, tasteless,
and yet so beloved to me
that i willingly lit myself ablaze
just to feel your warmth curling around me. 

to feel your poison in my veins,
binding tight to the hemoglobin of my blood,
stealing away my oxygen. 

every alarm went off,
blaring warnings and red flags. 
'smoke! smoke! smoke!' cried my fire alarms. 
'carbon monoxide! carbon monoxide! carbon monoxide!' cried my CO alarms. 
but they were loud and i didn't want to listen, so
i took out the batteries. 
i didn't care. 

i lit myself ablaze instead. 

the symptoms didn't hide. 
i didn't care. 

loss of vision. 

i lit myself ablaze instead. 

memory problems. 

i didn't care. 

loss of balance. 

i didn't care. 
i didn't care. 
i didn't care. 


i didn't care i didn't care i didn't care i didn't care i didn't care

coordination difficulties. 

i didn't care
i didn't care
i didn't care i didn't care i didn't care
i didn't care i didn'tcareididn'tcareididn'tcareididn'tcareididn'tcareididn'tcareididn't-

loss of consciousness. 

i didn't care. 

i lit myself ablaze instead. 

please don't do anything i listed, whether you take it literally or figuratively. figuratively, it's not at all emotionally healthy. literally, it WILL ACTUALLY CAUSE CARBON MONOXIDE POISONING. WHICH IS REALLY BAD. AVOID IT. PRACTICE FIRE SAFETY. AND ALSO EMOTIONAL SAFETY. JUST PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 

sorta maybe for PureHeart's #fire contest? i'm a day late and i didn't start off writing this FOR that contest it just happened to involve fire because that's what causes carbon monoxide to build up or be released and i wanted to write about CO

Peer Review

This piece is strong and compelling, urging the reader to keep reading until the very end, and leave them wanting more. Metaphorically, almost everything about this piece makes sense, and is described in wonderful ways, one can picture all that is happening. To add on, many readers can relate to this the story and/or meaning behind the piece, and through this read, readers know they aren't alone.

A few questions were placed among the highlights, however, there is the question of where did you get your inspiration from? How did this come to you? Is it personal, or pure fiction?

Reviewer Comments

This piece is wonderful and impressively written. Great work!
Congratulations on your nomination by Anha.