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Anthony Miller

United States

Friendship Isn’t Always Enough

February 12, 2016

    So it’s me again I know you won’t get this but it’s been four weeks since I got the news. And everyone keeps asking if I’m okay and every time it’s the same response “Yeah I’m fine” even though deep down I’m not. I wish I could've stopped you from doing it but I know that you wouldn’t of listened you were in so much pain yet you kept Abby away from it. Everyone at school is still surprised that you did that even though people didn’t talk to you it still takes a toll on everyone.
    I remember getting a slip to go to the office and as I was walking in I saw Adam’s aunt Susie leaving the Principal’s office crying. As I walked into the office Ms. Phillips the school secretary looked at me like the way little kids look when their favorite toy goes missing. She told me that Mr. Rogers the head Principal needs to see me. She takes me to this room with a long table with my guidance counselor Mrs. Thompson, the school Principal, and some weird looking guy in a fancy suit and a badge that said grief counselor. Mr. Rogers told me to sit down and so I did and they all looked sad which worried me considering the fact that everyone is acting weird today. As I began to sit down Mr. Rogers introduced the guy as Dave from the Mental Health Department at the local hospital Midtown General.  “I’m  here to talk about Adam your best friend,” Dave interrupted Mr. Rogers. That really worried me because he hadn’t answered my calls or texts for the last few days and he wasn’t at school either. Dave began by saying, “This is going to be rough and if you need me to slow down at anytime and explain things, I can and would be more than willing to. So as you may know Adam has been bullied for awhile now and from what we understand he came to you for help right?”
    “Yea we were pretty close I guess,” I responded.
    “ What did Adam exactly tell you?” Dave asked.
    “Well he told me that some upperclassmen were picking on him since freshman year and that they would laugh at him because of his shoes, outfit, hair, or music choices. We really didn’t talk about it a lot Adam doesn’t like to upset people with his problems. But you can tell when he is upset.”
    “Did you notice anything out of the usual these last few weeks?” Dave asked.
    “Nah not really, he was just quieter I guess. The other day we went to the mall to go to the food court and catch a new movie he wanted to see, which is one of his favorite things to do on Friday nights and I like to pay for his dinner and movie since his aunt doesn’t get a lot of money to raise Adam and Abby and to give him extra to go to the movies every weekend but he was extremely quiet and didn’t eat much.,” I responded.
    “Did you ask him what was wrong?” Dave questioned
    “Yea and all he said was that he was worried about an exam that is coming up.,” I answered.  
Dave had a sad look as he said, “Well Ryan there is no easy way to say this but late Saturday afternoon Adam died.”
    As a kid I always got picked on because of my shoes, hair, outfit, or music choices. I really fell deep into depression my freshman year I even tried to commit suicide a few times because why should I live I thought to myself everyday. I was getting picked on, my dad died when I was one, my mom was an addict, and my aunt had to work three jobs just to support my younger sister Abby and I. Sophomore year things started to get better so I thought, my depression was slowly fading, I wasn’t really getting picked on like before, and I made a new friend Ryan who was the star QB. He is tall, built, and very tan even though we live on the East Coast where it snows 24/7. Ryan loved taking me out to the movies and to dinner at the food court and we would always laugh and try to pick up girls because he knew it always made me feel better especially after we found out my mom was back on drugs again but this weekend it didn’t help. I was super upset I didn’t feel like being around anyone not even my little sister Abby who meant the world to me I try to protect her the best I can because I don’t want her to suffer like I did.
    I tried to talk to her every night and ask how her day was and if she has a boyfriend and she would always say “Ew boys are gross!” I would laugh and tell her that she needs to stay that way because I will beat her butt if she gets a boyfriend before she’s married then we would laugh. I would also take her to the park on Sunday mornings but that week I couldn’t enjoy myself no matter how much I tried my depression was so bad that weekend it was hard to laugh with her and make her smile like I used to. After Abby and I got home from the park I decided to do something that I thought I would never do. I walked into the bathroom, locked the door, and took a deep breath. My aunt has a lot of medicine in the cabinet because of her knee pain so I grab a bottle of about thirty or forty and swallowed them all. I fell on the floor as I heard Abby knock on the door and ask if I was okay but it was too late.


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  • February 12, 2016 - 4:25pm (Now Viewing)

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