Peer Review by mason wong (United States)

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What do ya think?

By: Ryder


FREE WRITING

This is a part for one of the books I'm working on. could you tell me what you think? Thank you!



    Red. Almost black but still red. I stared at my hand. The blood was dry and cracked. Is the doctor ever going to come out of the operating room? Tears stung my eyes. If he died I could never forgive myself. My dad patted my shoulder. 
    "Honey, its not your fault. He'll be okay. We got to get home before it gets too late."
    "Too late for what? School tomorrow? I'm not going. I'm staying here until I talk to the doctor. If the doctor says he is going to die...then I'll stay by his side till he's gone."
    Dad sighed. "Okay. I'll pick you up in the morning." He was very unemotional. Nothing in his voice showed that he cared.
    "Thanks." I managed. There was a lump the size of my fist, stuck in my throat. Dad left without another word.   


Message to Readers

FEEDBACK! Please and thank you :)


Peer Review

That the dad of the main character does not care about his son.


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Reviewer Comments

You are a talented writer!!!!! Also, this is about to make me cry!!