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i need feedback i'm horrible at matching syllables
Written By: paperbird
January 11, 2019
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AJ - Izzy
Hey, contest results are up!
Which 3 pieces would you like me to review?
The imagery in this piece is amazing in every meaning of the word. It's so vivid and left me holding my breath while reading this piece to its entirety. There are so many incredible lines, but the one that stood out to me the most was, " i felt her roaming eyes / like whispers on my cheeks". That was so well done, as you use a simile to show the true gentleness of, 'Mother Earth's' gaze with the beautiful comparison of whispers on cheeks. That line in particular made me feel so peaceful in this rich poem. And I love the last words(preserver, creator) that really bring this piece together.
Incredible job as always with your pieces. Keep writing, I love everything I read from you:)
what's with all these people writing about peaches lately lmao. the last stanza was the part that really pulled me in to this romanticised version of nature. i can't pinpoint anything wrong with the other stanzas that lost my interest (reading them again, the first stanza is also pretty vivid) but perhaps this needs extending to truly explore this vision of the world you're trying to convey? love your work!
The combined use of both, beautiful imagery and timing really bring this piece to life.
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