United States

dreaming of goddesses, sunflowers and italian sunshine.

Message to Readers

really unsure about this


January 6, 2019

PROMPT: State of Awe

    i am four years old, and my great-grandmother is eighty-four.
    i am four years old, and there is a dog at my feet. her name is luna, and she scares me sometimes because she'll bark when i don't give her my food, and she is about as tall as i am. today she is sniffing the old wooden kitchen floors of the rickety apartment, tongue lapping up the powdered sugar i drop on her head. "mira, nana - es nieve!" it never snows in santiago, so we like to pretend it does.
    i am four years old, and my nana is curling her age-beaten hands over mine, helping me grind the pumpkin, steadying my child-wavering fingers with practiced precision. i ask her why her skin feels like paper, fragile against mine. she laughs. "soy vieja, mi vida. mi piel es tambien." i nod and i wonder what it is like to live thousands of days.
    i am four years old, and i am putting way too much sugar on the sopaipilla. my nana doesn't protest, because i have always been la flacita, pobrecita, necesita comer. sus huesos se pueden ver, por el amor de dios. i should always be fattened up, should always be drowning in alfajores and empanadas. (i will learn more about this, when, at the age of thirteen, my family decides that i have put on enough weight, that i am a growing woman and i look the part, and my cousin decides that i am no longer too flacita to be attractive to him). but for now i agree with them, so i pile on my mountain of sugar and eat every sopaipilla i've made, laughing through a missing-toothed smile and pink cheeks.
    i am four years old, and for now i do not have any problems yet - for now i am burdened only by barbie dolls with missing shoes, and learning long words that are hard to pronounce. i am a child, blessed with health and ignorance and awe for the sopaipillas of my nana.


See History
  • January 6, 2019 - 6:36am (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

  • elisa

    thank you all so much!!!
    paperbird and anha: thank you sm for your reviews!! paperbird you're totally right and i can see it :) thank you all for being so sweet!

    over 1 year ago
  • paperbird

    ditto what anha said. this is BEAUTIFUL & so pure.
    my only recommendation comes from paragraph 3, in which you put quite a bit plot point in parentheses. it would add a lot to expand this idea into, perhaps, another paragraph, showing the shifting of time. it's a meaty part of the memoir but it's shoved to the corner.
    again, a beautiful piece. your writing is so elegant & thoughtful <3

    over 1 year ago
  • Anha

    this really reflects the innocence of childhood, and through the short snippets of spanish portray a unique cultural experience. the small details like pretending it snows in a place that it doesn't really endeared me to the piece, and the way it flows is natural and retrospective, almost like a memoir. love this with all my heart, keep writing!

    over 1 year ago
  • AbiJoy

    I love how you repeat "i am four years old" for rhythm! Your great-grandma is awesome. :)

    over 1 year ago
  • loveletterstosappho

    w h o a

    over 1 year ago
  • Ruthh

    oh my goshhhh this is magical

    over 1 year ago
  • Johanna

    Gosh, this is beautiful.

    over 1 year ago