Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Word choice in this piece was wonderful!! It seemed like you picked out each and every word carefully, and fit them together like it was a puzzle, creating this masterpiece. Each stanza/section has four lines making it a great, creative, and consistent set up. You were able to fit the whole piece within sixteen lines, and I love how you were able to compose this piece. Metaphors, smilies, descriptions-your figurative language was precious and memorable. From beginning four lines to the very last one everything about this piece draws a picture.
At first, you talked about 'their' and then 'our', which was slightly confusing. It seemed like you weren't originally included, and then suddenly you were. What happened? The reader reads about the before, and after; the beginning, and the end; the past and the future; what about the now? The middle? The present? What happened?
Great piece! Wonderful and unique!