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And Here I Lay

January 3, 2019


The boy looked at me. His eyes were bloodshot and tiredness stretched across his face like a scar. He wasn't frowning, but it looked like he was about to cry. 
The white walls around us flowered over him, nurturing him almost, like a mother. He was sitting up in the hospital bed, slouching over. His skin was wrinkly and his eyes kept closing. The room around me seemed icy as the stench reminded me of all those times I walked into a hospital.
"Um, I want to thank you..." 
His black hair spilled down his face, his gaze shifted every so often like he was always trying to unfocus and refocus in on something again. The solemn stare his eyes gave me elapsed quickly. Our conversation drained and all sense of hope I had to talk to him, to make him feel better, had evaporated. 
"Without...without you I wouldn't have lived, the bullet was too fast for me to jump away from it and saved my life." I chocked on air- or was it my words. Was I crying over the words I couldn't even form in my mouth? I wanted those words to sound foreign but it pained me to realize that I knew them. "And I know, that...that thanking you isn't enough right now. I know that you wish to rewind and you wished you'd never jumped to save me, I know..." Tears spilled from my eyes, rivers flowing through my cheeks. "I know you wish that, and I know I'm not helping, and I know-"
He lashed out at me. "You don't seem to know much!" He yelled. "Because if you did, you'd know how jealous I am over the chocolate you had the first day I met you, you'd know how much I wanted to be like you, even when I met you. You'd know how much... so much it's a measurement a number can't describe, I..."
I waited for him to continue. 
"If you really knew all that, then you'd know how much I love you, Lily." He didn't even bother to look up to show me, but there were tears streaking across his cheeks. 
The bright sun came out of the thick clouds and I breathed out. It wasn't much a sigh of relief, relief that I was freed from this darkness, (even though I knew I wasn't) it wasn't a sigh that heaved solemn measures...It was a sigh with emotion I can't explain. 
"You...You love me?" 
"Of course I do!" He yelled, looking back at me. He cried, and I was tempted to move closer to comfort him, but after all I did, I didn't think he would want that. "You've been blind this whole time! Not blind to me but blind to how I feel about you!" 
"You're right," I looked down, ashamed. "I've been blind, deaf, but certainly not mute."
My stomach dropped as he said his last words to me. "Yeah, get out, leave. Now. I can't stand you." 
For once I couldn't blame him.
Okay so this is a little bit sad but I hoped you enjoyed! It was just a scene I was writing because I was like: Why not? If you want to cry- turn on sad music, It might work. 'Cold' by Jorge Mendez might work :) Hope I didn't make you too sad!!


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  • January 3, 2019 - 8:53pm (Now Viewing)

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