Luna Lemon

United States of America

My name is Luna Lemon (Or at least my pseudonym is). My favorite book is Harry Potter and my favorite show is Doctor Who. I also love the Lunar Chronicles, Hunger Games, LOTR, and Percy Jackson. I enjoy writing poems, novels, short stories and more!

Message to Readers

Feel free to write a review about anything you like or anything you'd like me to work on. Thanks!

Waiting

December 31, 2018

Standing outside the blue door I'd become all too familiar with, crystals formed in my eyes. The wind breathed against my rosy cheeks, ruffling the scarf around my neck. I'd wait, if only to see if its handle ever budged for anything other than the winter wind. Whispering against the wood, I laid a gloved hand against its cracked paint for something more than a slight movement in the window. But, no warmth ever met even the tips of my fingers. Three steps had never felt longer as I held myself tightly, before leaving the single piece of multicolored cloth on the ground.

There she stood. Her hair in the messy bun I'd grown accustomed to on days where she'd breathe against my jacket, my curls twirling in her fingers. My heart stopped, the window stinging my eyes as she placed her hands on the blue wood. Let yourself in, I silently pleaded, hoping she still cared enough to open the door. But, as my own hands ached to meet her, she turned. Walking away silently leaving her scarf on the doorstep, remembering the day just one year ago when I had first wrapped it around her once smiling self.

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  • December 31, 2018 - 1:00pm (Now Viewing)

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13 Comments
  • muppet

    And I 100% agree with the things to fix. One more question and then I'll leave u alone- where do you think I should pick up ch. 2? I've tried writing it as Angel at school, Prunella and Rodger arguing, and Julian visiting Isabel, but so far none of those are really doing much for me. Like, in your opinion, after finishing it, what did you want to see immediately next? Thanks again! :)


    11 months ago
  • muppet

    Thank you so much for your extremely detailed and great review. Thank you so much for all the kind things that were said.


    11 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    Thanks so much @Catlover! That means a lot to me and I'm glad you picked that up:)


    11 months ago
  • Catlover

    You did a excellent job of showing what is happening without the characters talking. Such a good job!


    11 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    Thank you for you comment @muppet and np:) It was my pleasure to read it and there wasn't anything that inappropriate about the piece that teens couldn't handle. It added a lot of depth to the piece. It usually takes around a week for a review to be shared so hopefully it will be shared soon! I loved reading it, great job:)


    11 months ago
  • muppet

    This was so sad, I could really feel for the speaking character. I would be interested to see another installment with these characters, and I love the line "crystals formed in my eyes." Good stuff. Thank you so much for your kind comment underneath my piece "Tied." I wanted to let you know I haven't recieved a review yet, but that's not your fault and lies with the WTW team. I don't know if they've just been busy for the holidays or if it's taking a while because my piece is so long. I'm worried they're going to flag it for being inappropriate, even though I've published worse on the site. Anyway, thank you again. <3


    11 months ago
  • Kahasai

    Hey, I just published a writing advice piece on subtext and mentioned you and this piece as good examples of subtext. I thought you'd want to know.


    11 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    Thank you so much @Paperbird! All your comments always mean so much to me because of your own fantastic writing. Thank you for all your kind words and everything you picked out, have a happy New Year:)


    11 months ago
  • paperbird

    this is beautiful in a sad sort of sense. i loved your change in perspective and your mention of memory in both paragraphs. your descriptions are vividly worded and rhythmic. masterfully done, as always.


    11 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    @Quille thank you so much! I feel bad for almost making you cry but I'm glad you enjoyed it. Your comments always make my day<3


    11 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    Aw... thanks so much @Kahasai. I always love hearing your insight and your comments are always so kind:) Thanks again!


    11 months ago
  • Quille

    This is just... so wow! I'm really speechless (yeah that's why I'm writing so much :) at how well you conveyed their emotions. This piece nearly made me cry--I mean that as a compliment to your ability to master emotions because there are very few times I have ever cried while reading :) This is very subtle and beautifully orchastratated :DD


    11 months ago
  • Kahasai

    That's just ... Heartbreaking. Standing on two sides of a door, neither reaching to open it. You show their heartbreak so well through the memory of how they're acting now, through their memories. You never say it outright, but the feelings are all there, just below the surface. Well done.


    11 months ago