Peer Review by Suri Purefoy (United States)

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Far From Home

By: AAGetz2000


PROMPT: Setting as Mood

The autumn winds lazily tickled the leaves of the tree I sat in trying to escape the world which was crumbling down around me. A calming scent washed over me, pine needles and rain, heather gray clouds rolled across the vast sky above me with the threat of rain. I stayed up in the fragrant pine for hours staring out over the sublime scenery in the distance. The sharply peaked and snow capped mountains almost as though I had come straight out of Narnia. A squirrel skittered among the branches above my head like a leaf in the wind. I didn't know where I was but I knew one thing for sure, I wasn't in Washington anymore.


Message to Readers

Let me know how the sentence structure and grammar is!


Peer Review

I really love "lazily tickled" and "A squirrel skittered among the branches above my head like a leaf in the wind." They made me smile. =)


When reading, I felt a summer breeze and sunshine as the character sat in the tree.


Reviewer Comments

It gave me cold chills—not the horror-story kind, but the graceful and smooth, magic-fantasy, Popsicle-in-the-middle-of-summer kind. The last sentence reminded me of The Wizard of Oz but with your own amazing twist to it. I would love to read more to know what happened and what will follow.
Beautiful!