spearmint

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Help. I need ideas.

As Cold as Stone (Chapter 3)

December 28, 2018

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4
    I hear footsteps on the stairs. I know who it is: Amy. I hope she escaped. She usually manages to stay on Mom's good side, unlike me. But then she opens the door, and I see that she has received a worse beating than she has ever gotten before. Her cheek is purple, her nose is bleeding, and her lip is cut. She looks worse than ever. I pull my sister close to me, my face in her hair. "What did she do to you?"
    "She was going to kill you,Ian. She was going to kill you," she mutters. "I couldn't help it. I screamed at her. What kind of a person murders their husband then starts thinking about taking the life of their child? Who does that?"
    "Our Mom, that's who. We'll have to watch out from now on, Amy," I say, and pull her even closer. I don't let her go to her bedroom that night, for fear of her life and mine. I fall asleep on the floor.

    That night, I dream about Mom slitting Amy's throat, almost exactly like she did to Dad. I was just standing there, couldn't move, couldn't act. I pull up in a flash, and scramble up from the freezing wood that seeps in through the blankets. She has to be there, she had better be there, or else who knows what I'll do.

    It's too dark, I can't see anything. I find my way to the door, and flick the light switch. Then turn around. Amy is not there. But there's no blood. Only…

A piece of paper?
So this was rough, but I had no idea what to do. I know how I'm going to end this: on a tiny cliffhanger that will finish it up nicely, but I'll have to end it before that if I don't have ideas, SO PLEASE HELP ME. And yes, it might take a while for the next update on this story. Sorry!

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  • December 28, 2018 - 11:46am (Now Viewing)

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7 Comments
  • Quille

    Hey, thanks for reading Elfboy! I really appreciate it :DD
    Sorry I haven't read the rest of this yet, but I'm working on it :D


    11 months ago
  • spearmint

    When I start writing other stories, I may use longer chapters, but I like the way the short chapters in this story reveal little scraps at a time; it's how I want it to be. I think it adds an air of mystery. I'll be sure to check out your Elfboy series!


    11 months ago
  • Quille

    I got a lot of complaints on short chapters when I was publishing Elfboy (a story which also figures an evil mother :) but I wanted to tell you that I kinda like the shorter chapters because it makes it easier for me to keep up with a story better. The cliffhangers are fantastic too :DD I can't wait to find out what happens next, but I'll have to read the rest tomorrow :(
    I really love the characterization you're revealing as well as the mystery that I see building :DD If anything happened to Amy.........


    11 months ago
  • spearmint

    I won't really elaborate on the father, he was more of a side character who was used to represent how cruel Ian's mother became. As for the other questions, such as why Amy and Ian don't tell anyone, they will be answered later in the story. Thank you for the questions, now I have a little bit more to build on, which I was looking for.


    11 months ago
  • SeaOfWords

    I like the way you slowly reveal scraps of the character's future. What is the reason the main character doesn't tell anybody else about his mother? Who was his father? Can you tell us more about the character? Maybe you could build on these questions?


    11 months ago
  • spearmint

    Thank you!


    11 months ago
  • SeaOfWords

    Wow! You have an amazing talent for narrative!


    11 months ago