nezi_nes

Hong Kong

~on an indeterminate hiatus~

Message to Readers

If only that were me every day. Mmmm

Snooze (#23foraarushi)

December 26, 2018

FREE WRITING

7
As she plumped onto the sofa, 
dangling feet slowly losing momentum, 
soft blues playing in the background, 
she let herself dissolve into dreams.

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  • December 26, 2018 - 11:10pm (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • nezi_nes

    Ehehehehe thank you :)) also now that you say it, I do see the word "dissipate" fitting in to the poem. Kind words you have, Omicron.


    11 months ago
  • omicron7889

    OI YOU PUBLISH A PIECE AND YOU DON'T WARN ME FIRST HOW DARE YOU
    I'm kidding :P It's a nice surprise as always
    I like the vibe your piece gives out. To me the word that fits well would be 'dissipate' because your choice of words ('plumped' with 'sofa', 'dissolve' with 'dreams') really gives out the impression of coming back from a long day and as you sit down everything goes floof and ahhhhh....vanishes. It's a very relaxing and soothing 23 words.


    11 months ago
  • Aarushikrishnan

    I love the whimsy you brought into this, beautifully well done!


    11 months ago
  • nezi_nes

    Wow thank you Luna Lemon for your feedback, it's valuable to me and I appreciate it.


    11 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    Oooh this is such a creative take on the prompt! I love how you interpreted this as the song style, not just the color. I haven't seen something like it and this piece really stands out. You use such good word choice to match this piece's calming tone: "dangling", "slowing losing momentum", "soft", and "dissolve" showcase this perfectly to create a tone that fits the blues theme.
    This is definitely a favorite piece of mine that I've read. Good luck in the competition and keep writing:)


    11 months ago