Sydni Whitfield

United States

My name is Sydni but you can call me Syd;)
Strongly believe in owning a ton of books and drinking a lot of coffee.

Message to Readers

I want really honest feedback for this!! Let me know if you want more!

Trust

December 26, 2018

FREE WRITING

7
    I could feel his gaze lingering on me and the warmth of his hand holding mine. I couldn’t decipher whether he was holding my hand for support or affection. But whatever it was, I didn’t want it to stop.
    Just two hours ago, he sat across from me in the library with multiple books strewn out in front of him, his eyes skimming the words, and his hair wildly unkempt from the many times he had ran his hands through it; his common response to stress. We had been researching for the past two hours and were lacking luck.  He idly tapped the table with a repetitive rhythm, obviously to some song he was obsessing over lately. I always loved listening to his musical obsessions. He liked all genres of music, so it was always a mystery to me what he would play next. Being such an open minded and pleasant person, I felt like I could converse with him about any topic, trusting I’d receive his honest response.  As we researched dubiously for our science project that we were partnered for, I wondered how our friendship grew so close in such little time. I was completely aware that I could tell him anything. I had never before handed anyone so much of my trust, except for my best friend, Lila, who claimed I had “severe trusting issues.” Foster was different from most people though. When I shared my emotions, experiences, hopes, and struggles with him, he just listened. He knew as well as I did that I wasn’t expecting anything from him except support and time for me to think through my thoughts aloud.  Above anything else, Foster was the best for advice. I confided in him for advice only once before, when I had reached desperate measures.
    “Let’s say someone close to me did me wrong, Foster. Should I be willing to give this person a second chance?” I asked while sprawled out on the grass beside him as we stared at the clouds, searching for something further than the clouds themselves.
He strained his neck awkwardly to look over at me, “depends on what said person did.”
Another thing I love about Foster, I thought. He never aims to pry anything out of me. He allows me to answer on my own free will.
“This person lied to me. After building up a fierce wall of trust between us this person lied to me.” I answered, not allowing myself to grow emotional.
He was resting the side of his head on his fist as he listened. When I concluded my sentence he let his head ungracefully fall back to the comfort of the grass and said, “Hmm… Let me think about it and get back to you.”
And he did.
    Two days later, Foster appeared in front of me as I was walking aimlessly around the campus with a pair of earphones as company.  I took out one earphone with one hand so I could better hear what he was saying.
“I’ve been thinking about what you told me the other day. I don’t believe trust can be easily regained. I believe in second chances, but if someone screwed with the trust you built between each other, that wall will forever remain fragile, not easily restored. Don’t surround yourself with people who don’t respect you, Rin.” With that, he turned away without another word.
As I recollected on these memories, I knew that I could no longer lie to myself. I fell in love with Foster that day. The day he shared with me the opinion he had spent two days seriously thinking about. The day he made me feel important. The day he showed me he cared.
    I found myself back in the park, late at night.  Sitting beside me was Foster, holding my hand tightly.
“We broke up.” He muttered, almost a gasp.
    My eyes widened in shock.
The girl I had been subconsciously envying for so long. The girl who had been my excuse every time I had wanted to love Foster, He is already loved, I would tell myself.  The girl who I thought was Foster’s everything.
I realized as his grip grew tighter that it was all for support. He simply needed support from someone, and I was here to provide it. So I squeezed his hand back and just listened, and I let him think aloud as he would always let me.  
Still thinking about the title for this, so I will most likely change it soon.  Let me know what you all think about this!!

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5 Comments
  • buddingauthor

    I love this! I just wanted more and more of this.


    over 1 year ago
  • The Bubbling Pen

    I really love this piece... oh how the tables have turned for Foster :( Keep up the awesome work <3


    almost 2 years ago
  • Dmoral

    Peer review sent!


    almost 2 years ago
  • nezi_nes

    Mmmm can we have more? :))


    almost 2 years ago
  • ALangford

    this is v v compelling & beautifully written - well done. also i like the title as it is actually


    almost 2 years ago