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rainandsonder

United States

writing/drawing/music

Message from Writer

"if you punish a person for dreaming their dreams / don't expect them to thank or forgive you,” -the mountain goats

“everything's in order in a black hole / nothing seems as pretty as the past though,” - the arctic monkeys

lowercase is intentional.

#23foraarushi

December 25, 2018

FREE WRITING

5
Blue: the color of the beads woven in her braids, her words curling like smoke, and the icy sea the day she drowned.
Why does all my flash fiction turn out so dark? This was hard, with such a specific word count, but also fun. It's for Aarushikrishnan's (hope I spelled that right) contest, which you can find here. Please leave feedback in the form of a comment or review; tell me what you think!

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  • December 25, 2018 - 10:32am (Now Viewing)

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3 Comments
  • muppet

    Hey RainAndSonder
    Thank you so much for always giving me great feedback on my works. I messaged you on Wattpad, but I don't frequent it as often so I'll type you here. I have HUGE submissions coming up and I have no idea what to submit. Obviously it would need a revision as well. Is there any way I could burden you with some reading / reviewing when you get a free chance? I could tell u more in another message
    If not, totally cool, and don't worry about it.


    7 months ago
  • Aarushikrishnan

    Luna Lemon said it perfectly, this was masterfully done. You should be proud!


    7 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    Wow! This is absolutely beautifully written, I've reread it so many times and each time I'm captivated. In 23 words you gave me such vivid imagery: "woven in her braids", "curling like smoke" and "the icy sea" being such wonderfully written examples of this. And it is amazing that in 23 words you could tell a story where the last seven words felt like a punch in the gut to me. This was a phenomenal take on the prompt and a piece I'll definitely remember.
    Amazing job as always and keep writing:)


    7 months ago