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spearmint

United States

Write free

Message to Readers

This might suck and it's kind of short.

As Cold as Stone (Chapter 1)

December 24, 2018

FREE WRITING

7
    When I was young, my mom spoke a lot. She was strong with her words, but not hurtful. One day, she stopped using them, said:
    "I don't need them anymore."
She was never really my mom again. And she never got better. Only worse. She pushed us like hell. She didn't scream anymore, only gave a glare that made you think she would kill you. And then...
    She finally did. My dad was the first to go.

THUD. Crash. I twisted around wondering what in the world that noise could be. Too afraid for my footsteps to be heard, I slid down the banister. The china is broken. My mom's eyes are glossed over and they have a wild and crazy look to them. She holds a bloodied knife that was in my dad's throat a moment ago.
So this is my first story and I need criticism. I really want to know what to improve on, so please tell me! I hope you liked the first chapter, and let me know if you want me to continue with this idea. I also know that this was kind of short, but it felt like a good place to end this first one. The chapters will get longer, so don't worry!

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9 Comments
  • spearmint

    Yay, people are reading this again.


    10 months ago
  • Syl

    wow idek what to say!! I need more!! i'm going to go read the next chapters


    10 months ago
  • spearmint

    Thank you so much! I was getting so sick of people not getting my reviews, and me not being able to read ones that others sent!


    10 months ago
  • green.eyes.gurl

    This is so cool and dark and I love it! As for your question about the reviews: once someone submits a review, a WtW official person or whatever you want to call it will read over the review to make sure it meets standard requirements and does not just call out the bad things and such, and after a few weeks it will usually be shared with you. It's a bit tedious, waiting for a review you know is coming. If you are, however, writing an essay or something for a school assignment and you need the review to get to you quickly because of the due date, you can message or email WtW and ask them to try to share the review with you as quickly as possible. Obviously I would not recommend doing this for every little piece, but if it is important they will listen. Hope that makes sense!


    10 months ago
  • spearmint

    Yeah, um...
    How do you read the reviews?


    10 months ago
  • Dmoral13

    Peer review sent!


    10 months ago
  • AbigailSauble

    Later on in the story, will you expound upon why the m.c.'s mom became like this?


    10 months ago
  • spearmint

    Thank you Quille! It's really nice to know that people like my ideas and your comment really helps. Also, I have published the second chapter, so you can take a look at it now.


    10 months ago
  • Quille

    This is fantastic and I would love to read more! That cliffhanger... :D I would love it if you entered my cliffhanger contest :DD


    10 months ago