Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
draft ii. kind of proud of this.
feedback appreciated. how could i make it better?
by the way, this will be the last thing i publish for a week or two. going overseas.
This piece was so heart-wrenchingly beautiful. You should definitely be proud of it. My favourite part was when loretta smiled for her son as a final present/goodbye. I seriously felt like crying - it was so bittersweet.
I don't think you should add any more significant parts to this because it flows so well as it is. I've put most of my comments in my highlighting, so please check those out :)
Roses are red
Violets are blue
It's all I can say:
This piece was brilliant
And truly heart-felt
It's been a while since
I've felt my tears melt.
Wow. Your piece impressed me so much :) Keep up the fantabulous writing <3
Congrats again for winning my #silentnight contest. You deserve it. If you want me to extend my review in anyway, just comment on one of my pieces :)
Here's an emoticon for you...