Peer Review by Sarah Yang (United States of America)()

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The Rose #ManateeContest

By: Blotted Ink with a Broken Quill


FREE WRITING

She was alone,
but every night she was kissed
and she drank in all the love until the next day came,
and it kept her from withering
Every night,
the snow came a let it's soft flakes brush against
her cheeks,
which already blushed without provacation
She was the only spot of red in the shifting mass
of white and grey
but she liked it that way
She had the entire universe as her companion
And underneath the stars,
she danced without movement,
but it was the most wonderous dance of all,
and she swayed to the song of the mountains
and she danced in her dress of layers,
each more tender than the last
The rose never once lost her velvety crimson coat,
for when the night disapated,
she watched the world with her eyes and thanked it,
so it never felt the need to remove her petals.

The rose sits on her not so lonely mountaintop,
with her flower in the stars and moonlight on her stem,
and sunlight in her bud, and her roots laden with gems.

my love, the rose.
 


Peer Review

I was moved by the gorgeous details used to describe the rose. You really humanize the beauty of the rose by providing it with emotions and feelings that validate the presence of this particular rose.


I would like to know more about how this rose fits into the context of a greater theme. What does this rose symbolize? What does this rose mean for the reader? How should the rose - how should love - be interpreted?


Reviewer Comments

Hi! I absolutely adore your beautiful descriptions of the rose and the way you compare its ethereal delicacy to the roots that ground it - similar to the idea of love. I was moved by how deliberate your wording is and the way you phrase it to portray the greater theme of unity in love. Great work!