Peer Review by Hanan Adi (Germany)

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What Can You Hear Through the Leaves

By: Mary Dvorak


I sit in the same spot, in the same forrest, thinking the same thoughts. Looking left to right from up to down. Some of the trees are standing tall, some broken down. As I sit here on pieces of broken pavement, on my I don't even know how many cigarettes I've had now cigarette, infatuated in how they speak. You can hear them whispering through their leaves, you can see them dancing till they freeze. How beautifully silent friendship can be when all they have is each other and the breeze. 

 


Message to Readers

I am a fairly new writer so I am very open to any sorts of feedback!


Peer Review

Your observation that the trees are companions is not something a lot of people notice or think about -- an interesting observation.


There isn't much tension, although complexity is evident in the way the narrator appears lonely while the trees are all among friends.


I construe that the narrator is lonely. She returns at least once to the forest to listen to the trees conversing amongst each other. I would like to see this piece expanded to know how the narrator reacts to the friendship of the trees. Will she continue merely to watch wistfully, or will she plant a tree in her own garden? will she speak to the trees in her desperation? will she pretend they speak to her? etc. I would like to know also whether the narrator's conflict will be resolved, and if so, how.


Your writing is clear and concise and your perspective is fresh. I like your implication that friendship is such an innate necessity that it is evident even in the most commonplace nature on Earth.


Reviewer Comments

Good day, Mary.

I think this piece would benefit if you continued it, at least so that readers can conjecture the fate of the narrator.

Overall, you've done a good job. Thank you for sharing, and have a nice day, Mary!