Peer Review by Sarah Yang (United States)

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Dawning Adventure

By: AudienceOfOne


FREE WRITING

i close my eyes
and dream of tomorrow
goodnight moon
soon to be sun
goodnight stars
soon to be clouds
i smile softly
waiting for the dawn
because who knows 
what adventure awaits
 


Peer Review

I really liked how you isolated time in this piece. You portray time to be a limitless yet fleeting source, in lines such as "soon to be sun" and "waiting for the dawn," and it really adds to the overall theme of anticipation and reminiscing. The world that you capture seems to be constantly expanding as you wait for what you can't foresee.


I would like you to possibly expand on the idea of how you yourself grow into and alongside time. You have set a very intriguing foundation for having to wait yet being so impatient, so I would love to see how you expand on time being both an ally and an enemy for the adventure that awaits.


Reviewer Comments

Hey! I really liked how you captured the human instinct of escape and longing into this small segment of writing - a very relatable and necessary piece that taps into what we usually can't say out loud. Keep writing!