"I hate my life!" she screamed.
She is my best friend. She has been my bestfriend since birth. She has depression. Her name is Zalia. We're at school and she's having an episode. Everyone is looking at us but they don't know the whole story. They don't know that when Zalia was 11 she was in a car accident with her mum and sister. They don't know that she was the only one that survived. Zalia has episodes where she just can't deal with the pain and she doesn't know what to do with herself. There have been multiple occasions where she has attempted suicide.
"I want to die!" Zalia yelled. I try to calm her down but I know it's pretty much impossible. "Come on Zalia, I'll take you to see Mandy, just calm down and come with me." Mandy is one of our school counselors. "No! Tash you don't understand! I just can't stand living while they're both dead!" she exclaims. It hurts every time she tells me that I "just don't get it" because really, I do. I know how she feels because I am always with her and she's always telling me. Also, she seems to forget that I was almost as close to her sister Frankie and her mother Anna as she was. "Zalia!" I am screaming now too, "Please! Just come and we'll talk to Mandy."
I eventually get her to follow me to the well-being block of the school. I knock on the door and Mandy answers. What she sees is two girls, one a blubbering mess and the other trying to stay strong. She invites us in to her office, and we sit down on a bean bag. Mandy looks down at us with her loving eyes before pulling up a bean bag and sitting down with us. That's what I like about Mandy. I mean there'a lot to love but she always makes us feel that we are equal and she has no superiority over us. "What provoked the episode?" Mandy asks me. "Tyler told her that she's messed up and needs help." Tyler is Zalia's ex-boyfriend. They went out for seven months and during those months Zalia was actually happy most of the time.
A couple of weeks ago there was a party and Tyler kissed one of our friends, Grace. Zalia and I didn't go to the party becuase it was the anniversary of the car accident, the night that Anna and Frankie died. At one o'clock in the morning I got a phone call from Jordi, my boyfriend, and he told me what had happened. I didn't know how I was going to break it to Zalia, I mean that relationship had actually made her enjoy her life. The next morning when I woke up she was sitting on her bed scrolling through her facebook feed. I went over and sat next to her, trying to think of a way to sort of let her down easy. I was about to tell her when I saw the photo. The photo that almost ended Zalia's life. It was a picture of Grace and Tyler lying on the grass making out. Zalia just sat there staring at the screen. To be honest I think it was actually worse than screaming because she just looked so helpless and upset. She stood up and opened one of her draws. She pulled out a knidfe and before I knew it, the knife was in her chest. I screamed. She fainted. I thought she was dead. I ran out to find Zalia's dad, Peter, but he had already left for work. It's seriously all he cares about. I had a moment where I was just standing there not sure what to do but then I remembered that my best friend was lying on her bedroom floor bleeding to death. I picked up the phone and called 000. When I heard the voice on the other end of the line I could barely speak. Eventually I told the ambulance what had happened and within five minutes they were knocking on Zalia's front door. She was rushed to hospital and she was very lucky to have survived. Well, I thought it was lucky.
We are sitting in Mandy's office when the home bell rings. Mandy tells me to go home with Zalia to make sure she doesn't do anything "drastic". We walk back to her house and go inside. "You don't have to stay you know Tash," she says. But I know I do. We go into her bedroom and I sit down on her bed. "I'm just going to the bathroom," she tells me, and I think nothing of it.
Ten minutes later she is still in the bathroom. I am starting to get worried. I go and knock on the door, no answer. I try to open it but it's locked. I use all my strength to push that bloody door open. "Zalia!" I yell, "Zalia open up!" but there's no answer. I run to my phone and call the police and the ambulance. They're quicker than last time. Zalia had overdosed on sleeping pills. She is rushed to hospital in the back of the ambulance, again, but this time I get to ride with her. It wouldn't really have made much difference to her though, she was asleep. We get to the hospital and I am told to get out of the way. I decide to go and wait in the waiting room. Three quarters of an hour later a nurse comes out and tells me that Zalia's had her stomach pumped and that she's going to be okay. I burst into tears and run into the room to see my best friend. "Tash?" says a weak voice. I look down at her. "You saved my life and I know this isn't the first time. I'd be dead a thousand times over if you weren't here for me, thankyou."