Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Any suggestions, criticisms, or comments are welcome!
The numbers help to symbolise the "shutdown" of the narrator's relationship with the second character (whom I am tempted to label a jerk). The numbers start large, but one by one decrease, mimicking the deflation of the narrator's hope after being ditched.
I would like to know more about #1, or more specifically, what "afterwards" refers to. The first time I read it, I believed that "afterwards" meant "after you came and took your things." However, "0 is the number of times you came home," so maybe he didn't take his things after all. It's just something I wonder about.
This is a very real portrayal of betrayal and heartbreak! I think many readers (including myself) can relate to the strong feelings in this piece. It almost feels like sympathy, although we ourselves sympathise with the narrator, too. Thank you for sharing this, Ellen! Well done and happy writing!