Peer Review by Lissie (United States)

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I Grew Daffodils Too

By: The Bubbling Pen


FREE WRITING

Roses are red
Violets are blue
In my garden I grow
Daffodils too

Red, blue and yellow
Dancing around
They flit and they flutter
And fall to the ground

The sky up above
Seems to shudder and clap
Shooting grey streaks
With a sickening slap

The green in my garden
Withers and dulls
And all I see now
Is the sand and some gulls

Beyond lies a wharf
And further: a beach
They stretch on and on
Yet no words do they preach

Then far in the distance
The roaring red sun
Peeks from the clouds
That it has outrun

The wind whispers near
While the sea shouts out far
Below the sand shines
Like a bright shooting star

But the reality is
Behind the facade
All that I see
Is a simple glass shard

The roses aren't red
Nor violets blue
Just codes, dots and numbers -
The daffodils too

I dream from behind
The cage of my screen
As I type what I wish
Could truly be seen

Instead of some flowers
In delicate rows
Or the sea and the sand
Or the wind that blows

Instead of the sun
And the clouds and the sky
Or the wharf and the beach
Or the gulls that fly

I hear the faint hum
Of my laptop at work
And the ominous clack
As I type with a jerk

And I see naught at all
Not a rose is in sight
No violet nor daffodil
While I solemnly write:

Once, my roses were red
My violets were blue
In my garden I grew
Daffodils too

---

Once, my roses were red
My violets were blue
Has your screen taken over
Your natural world too?

Peer Review

It had a very bright start and quickly turned. The message of it was prominent and striking. The simple rhyme scheme of an everyday nursery rhyme coupled with the sad reveal really hits the reader.


What exactly compelled you to write this? Where did the idea come from? Many of my ideas stem from sitting and thinking while the others are just "I have to write right now."


Reviewer Comments

It was fantastic, and a sad truth. Studies of members of the iGen of Generation Z (gen-z) have showed that our brains are actually changing. We talk about it in one of my classes often because Gen-Z is also referred to as a hinge generation.