Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
I feel like we all often miss the idea of unity when we get caught up in our own desires. Sometimes we need to take a step back and look at the world as a whole. Observe it, admire it, and see where we fit in among the society that we've built. We're not that different. Sometimes we need to put our opinions and beliefs aside and join together over the fact that we are all human. Also, this one is kinda meant to be read aloud. Could y'all help me out and give me some feedback on how it sounds out loud? Merci beaucoup!
They're closely connected and seem to be from the perspective of the same person, but I think that this could be even more powerful if they were from distinct perspectives.
The prose style slows down the reading experience and solidifies it, which gives it a charming certainty.
I like this a lot! It sounds good to me out loud, but how it sounds out loud depends heavily on the person reading it, not just the writing. It's a thoughtful piece and a reminder of our shared humanity.