Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I thought the last sentence of your fourth paragraph was pretty powerful.
It has a more reflective tone. The narrator is thinking about how bugs are always being killed by smaller kids but they are at piece with this.
Everything was red, and things were described in unique ways. I think it made this piece more confusing to understand.
What does the color red symbolize? Symbolism is used in a more subtle manner in successful works of literature to help express the theme. You use it seven times in the first paragraph. That only makes me more confused (why is everything in this world red)?, rather than help me understand your theme more.
The same sentence is used to start the first two paragraphs. The two paragraphs following those mirror those first two, but with their own twists. Why are the first two exactly the same? Would it be better to make the second one different from the first?