Peer Review by AnimeGurlMBP (United States)

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By: Ashleigh2403


Sadness, bitterness, loneliness, and rejection. Feeling the weight of the world on His shoulders. Knowing the weight of the world rested on Him. The crowd was jeering, taunting, cursing Him and His name. The same people who were not long-ago cheering, praising, and crying tears of joy to see Him ride in on a colt of a donkey. They had cried “Hosanna! Hosanna, in the highest!” and threw their coats and palm leaves on the path for the colt to walk on. The crowd was fickle in their praising and taunts.
  Now He was here with a crown of thorns on His head and blood pouring down his back. While the crowd screamed and stared, He was forced to carry His cross on His own raw and bloody back as He stumbled along the dirt road. Wearily He fell to His knees under the weight of the massive wooden cross. The guards prodded Him with their spears mocking His form on the ground. They then scanned the crowd and pulled out a man who looked able bodied to carry the cross the rest of the way. The Roman guards forced the Man with the crown of thorns to His feet, so He could keep walking.
  When they made it up the enormous mountain, they led the Man over to where His cross had been lain. As the guards held the Man to the cross, He did not cry out or struggle. He simply stayed peaceful and still, like a lamb led to the slaughter. The only thing that showed that He might not be willing to do this was the deep and unending sadness in His brown eyes.
  The guards seized four enormous nails and Drove them into His hands and feet. He cried out in agony each time the mallet struck a blow on one of the nails. while this was happening, the crowd observed. Some were crying, some laughing and jeering, some shouting for it to cease immediately, and some looking on stone faced. Once the guards finished, they nailed a hastily scrawled sign to the cross pronouncing “Hail King of the Jews”. Then several men come forward to lift up His cross next to two other criminals.
  He was forced to listen to the one of the other criminals, crowd, and guards taunting him. Shouts and jeers were heard. “save yourself since you claimed to be the King of the Jews our chosen Messiah”. He then watched the guards gambling for his garments and dividing them up, as if they owned them. Darkness overtook the land. After suffering at the hands of many for several hours He cried “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” and took His final breath.
  His name was Jesus.

I know some may not believe Jesus was the savior or that he really died on the cross for man's sin but this is what I believe. While this is more descriptive than the Bible it still can come nowhere near what it had really been like. Thanks for reading!

Peer Review

"As the guards held the Man to the cross, He did not cry out or struggle. He simply stayed peaceful and still, like a lamb led to the slaughter. " This part made me feel a sense of letting go and let everything that happens continue so it can end.

What made you write this piece? Could you try writing it from the point of view from Mary or James?

Reviewer Comments

I loved it. It sounds so deep and I feel what he felt.
I believe in God and Science (more into astronomy) and with that maybe you can do a piece describing how God created the planets or in the Universe's P.O.V