Peer Review by ReadingRedhead (United States of America)()

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Almost Free

By: banjo


FREE WRITING

Each day I ask you if you’re ok
Each day you tell me that you’re fine
But in the end I know that you’re lying
You’re trapped inside your own hell and you think no one knows
But everyone can see that's exactly how it goes
You bury what’s inside
You always try to hide
But in the end you’re not alone
You’re not the only one who’s known
Tried to escape before
But you never got straight to the source
It always came back
Never got the chance to relax
Death tried to make its way in
But I refused and never let it win
You’re always fighting for who you are
But never let yourself be lowered by expectations bar
Remember you have the people who care
The ones who are always there
Open your eyes and don’t cry
For you have a long way to go and it’s not time for you to die.


Message to Readers

Just honest thoughts about it thanks.


Peer Review

I love the passion in this. It demonstrates the great strength its needed for this person to get through life and how strong they are for making it through. There are many trials and tribulations that people have to go through and some of the hardest ones can be coming to the conclusion that even if your life is hell, it's not your time to die, and you have a reason to live.


the only suggestion I have is to maybe make it your point of view clearer, is it a letter to someone else, a letter to yourself, or a first-person point of view?


Reviewer Comments

This is a fantastic piece! keep writing and best of luck my friend.