Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Does this argument sound logically sound and persuasive?
Delighted: the quality of this opinion essay is incredibly high. The quotes are seamlessly worked in, the ideas are crystal clear, and the message is powerful (I sense some pathos and logos being wielded in this piece)
Walking out of this essay, I'm finding myself asking how much all of this security would cost. But I can see why it isn't included in the essay as a key point: it disrupts the entire logical flow. I would like to see it included as a description, perhaps - "The [however much it costs] security system" or something like that. It would sway me more towards the side of the author. Just a suggestion.
This article is very much logically sound and persuasive. Good job!
I might personally not agree with this viewpoint (safety sounds very nice) but I still found it incredibly compelling.