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An Unlikely Friend

February 12, 2016

“What the hell was that!” Cried my ‘friend’, Adeline. She’s always getting on me about how I’m being insensitive, I don’t see her problem, and it’s not my problem. “And what do you want me to do about it? She’s your friend, so if you have a problem of how I live my life, then go ahead and file a complaint!” I don’t see why I had to come all the way to her house, just so she could yell at me and then storm off, like a pouting five year-old. “Every time I try to talk to you, it always ends in me screaming at you!” She acts like she can’t change that, she’s never civil with me, always yelling and screaming at me. “Here’s an idea how to fix that, STOP YELLING!” I swear, she has to be the most idiotic, dim-witted girl I’ve ever met.
Maybe I should start with myself first, that might be helpful, I’m just like every other teenage guy, school, homework, annoying parents, a job, oh, and a psychotic girl yelling at me every other day. I’m sure constant, unintelligible arguments with someone who has their voice stuck in the ‘never shuts the hell up’ setting is really good for a teenager’s ears. It’s not like my parents are of any help, they’re both in Tennessee, looking after my useless brother-in-law. In short, things could not be better for Xavier Black. I hated my full name, it made me sound like some Harvard professor, when my grades are really just tragic.
Of course, none of this really matters to Adeline; she just wants to scream at me about how I hurt her friend, or whatever it is that I did this time. “You don’t care about anyone but yourself X! You just do whatever the hell you want and expect us to pick up after you!” I don’t see where she is getting all of this from, I’ve never asked anyone to pick up my messes before, at least not metaphorically. “And what would you know about caring, Adi? You’ve slept with nearly every guy at school, and half of the girls!” It’s not like I’m lying, she’s been with all the football team, the basketball team, and the wrestling team, not to mention most the cheerleaders. “You’re one to talk, you’ve screwed half the cheerleaders!” In actuality, I’ve never been with anyone at the school at all; everyone just assumes that I have, because my friends outside of school are mostly girls. “I’m just glad I’ve never screwed you, you’d never shut up about it!” It may be mean, but it’s true, whenever Adi finds a new guy, she posts it everywhere. “I’m done trying with you, X, stay away from me!” I’m just glad she shut the hell up; my ears feel like they’re bleeding.
Of course, all this started when I went on a date with one of her normal friends, Clara, but as it turned out, she was just as much a flirt as Adi is, but she’s also mean as hell. When she broke it off, she just kept blaming me for everything, how I was weak and how I should’ve screwed her when I had the chance. And now it seems she’s gotten Adeline on her side, its not like I hit her with a table leg, my back is still bruised from that. But in any event, I’m stuck with some psychotic girl yelling at me because her friend wants to screw every guy in this zipcode.
At school, its very difficult to avoid Adi, she’s in all my classes, but I can hear her annoying-as-hell laugh from a mile away, so I just duck into my first class and hope her and Clara don’t bother me like they did all break. But today, things seem a little different, I can tell, because everyone’s looking at some new girl, I think she’s from California or Oregon somewhere. “X, what do you think about that new girl, pretty cute, right?” My friend Dave is a bit of an idiot when it comes to cute girls, or slightly attractive girls, or really any member of the female gender. “I guess so, its not like you’d have a chance anyway, you stutter talking to the lunch lady, and she’s 76.” Dave can’t even say one word to senior citizens without stuttering like an idiot. “I’m serious X, what do you think of her?” I guess she looks alright, though I know exactly what happens from here, Adi and Clara, and their friends are going to take her into their group, in goes a nice, innocent girl, out comes a girl that jumps anyone with a Y Chromosome. “Dave, we both know what’s going to happen to her, so don’t get your hopes up, or maybe do, as long as she doesn’t want someone who can talk.” “Up yours too, X.” The rest of the day went by pretty uneventful, until eighth period study hall, I get stuck in the Library with the new girl. “Hey, new girl, you wanna pass me that book?” I’ve been contemplating whether or not the book was too close to her to grab without making things uncomfortable. “Sure, and my name’s Tiffany, but you can call me Tiff.” She’s really getting ahead of herself, once Adi pounces, she’ll just be another girl. “Well, Tiff, you’re getting way too far ahead of yourself, watch out for Adeline.” I don’t see why she’s so talkative not, everyone’s been trying to talk to her all day, and she hasn’t said a word. “Don’t worry, I’m not like Adeline, and I don’t plan to be.” Maybe she’s not so bad after all, she knows how to read, that already puts her decades ahead of Adi’s gang. “You wanna get some coffee after school, there’s a great place downtown?” I figure coffee can’t hurt, can it? “Sure, I’ll drive, and my name’s Xavier.” “Okay, great!”


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