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Tormented Hero

United States

Message to Readers

After some reflection with some of my personal experiences I wrote this piece. I hope it allows you to reflect like how it allowed me to reflect.

When We Leave

February 15, 2016




     I don't understand why Mrs.Woodard asked me to to talk at Stella's funeral. It sucks enough that my best friend died. Now I need to tell the whole world how much I miss her. What do you say? I miss her, everyone does. 

“Claire” yelled Barb from downstairs.
“What?” Claire snapped back
“ Your father and I are going to sit down for dinner and I...” 
“ I don't want to! I...I...I'm busy” 
“Ok, can I bring your plate up?” 
“ No, I'm not hungry!”
“Ok, if there's anything I can do just let me know.” 

     I'm actually very hungry. I can't do it, I can't write about my best friend. She was better at this stuff. After I broke up with my first true love Atom Peterson, I was so heartbroken it seemed like the end of the world. It felt like my life was over and that I was never going to comeback from this. That night Stella literally dragged me out of my room, and we went out to Chucky E Cheese's. We must have looked so weird - two teenagers playing every game we could get our hands on laughing all the way. At the end of the day we had won just enough tickets to get a teddy bear. I still have that bear. I remember when she gave it to me she said, “ As long as I have you and you have me nobody can bring us down.” Whenever I would see her I knew it would be alright. Oh god I'm miss her face, I miss her face I miss her voice I miss the way that she would talk. I miss Stella I want her to walk through the door so that I know that everything will be alright. 
I remember when Stella and I went to our first school dance together. I was so protective of her that I didn't let any boy dance with my girl. Of course back then I didn’t understand anything about boys. I just didn’t want anybody to have my Stella. That’s how it was back then: I had her back and she had mine. 
     The first day of high school was no different. We took the intimidation of every stuck up sassy gossiping diva and showed them that we were not going to be pushed to the side. We were proud of who we were and what we did. We didn't care what other people thought. We became the people that we are today and the rest of our lives. We change so much in high school some but things never change. I was always the smart one, but Stella she was always the wise one. I would bring back my report card with pride, Stella wouldn't even bring it home. I was always tired and stressed, Stella was always excited and hopeful. She helped me get through so much. It all seems so petty now, but in the moment even not getting asked to the homecoming seemed like the end of my life. But it wasn't my life that ended. I still have the chance to live. I can still do great things. I  can still be there for my friends. Stella dosen’t have that choice, and that suckes, but I can be there now and forever for someone else. Why did Stella not get that choice? Why do I have the option of going on? I'm so lucky to be able to make that choice and I know that Stella would want me to go on. But it's hard, it's hard to wake up every morning, to drag myself to school, to pretend that I care. The only thing that I can do like the old me is being there for other people. I can have someone’s back (like Stella had mine): how I can tell someone that's it's going to be alright: someone who I  can protect someone who I can care about worry about someone to be a friend to. That is why I’ll wake up every morning that's why I'll drag myself to school that's why I'll pretend to care. I guess that's why I should write this eulogy for Mrs.Woodard because Stellla left behind a friend but she also left behind a family, and I can be there for them to tell them that everything is going to be alright. That is what Stella would have done for me.   
This is a very rough draft that I wrote in less than three days. I bearly read it my self so any advice is helpful.   

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