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Silver Pen

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Message from Writer

I came here to love, learn, laugh, and hone my skills.
I hope to return the favor to my fellow Write the Worldarians.
The pen is mightier than the sword -- especially if it's launched from an elastic band. ~Me and my awesome sister Éowyn

Raw Oats

December 11, 2018

FREE WRITING

7
    Three o'clock p.m. is snacktime.  The normal snacks are gone.  So, I mix chunky peanut butter, honey, chocolate chips, and raw oats in a bowl, and I prepare for a long meal.
    Horses eat raw oats; horse fans know this.  What people may not realize, though, is that humans are also perfectly capable of ingesting raw oats.  The thing is, you can't chew raw oats.  If you chewed raw oats, you would makee unnatural noises after you swallow.  You can chew cooked ones, but not raw ones.  If you were a horse, you could chomp your oats.  But you're not a horse.  If you were, you wouldn't be reading this.  No; raw oats must be chawed.   
    Chawing is a highly technical procedure, like opening presents or slapping people.  The main distinction between chewing and chawing is that chawing has a higher level of noise byproduct.  However, most people who get themselves into situations where chawing is necessary prefer chawing to choking.  The greatest difficulty in chawing is knowing when to chaw.  This is almost as much of an art as chawing itself, and takes many years to perfect.  
    I'm done chawing now, so I think I'll end the piece.

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5 Comments
  • Quille

    Do you seriously have a sister named Éowyn? 'Cause that's really cool :D


    9 months ago
  • Silver Pen

    Great! It's nice to hear that I've made someone happy.


    10 months ago
  • The Bubbling Pen

    Haha this is such a great mood lifter :) I think I'll go practice chawing now <3


    10 months ago
  • Silver Pen

    Nice to hear!


    10 months ago
  • Quille

    :DD Oh my goodness did this make me laugh! Good job :D This was an awesomely funny read!! :D


    10 months ago