Peer Review by majestically awkward manatee (United States)

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The Unchivalrous Knights: Chapter Two

By: Lee Fudge


Leonard, Katherine, and Isaac were on the road to where one of Leonard's group members, Lancaster, was apparently spending his retirement. Leonard was now wearing some plain armor and a green cape, saying it was his uniform.

"I never asked you two," Leonard said after a while, "What are you guy's jobs?"

"We are attendants to the King," Katherine said.

"I see,"  Leonard replied simply.

"So, Sir Leonard," Isaac said, "Can you tell us about the Unchivalrous Knight's disbandment?"

"After we defeated Argos last year, we decided to go our separate ways," Leonard said, "We felt that there was nothing that needed our combined power anymore. But now that, Argos is back, I have no choice but to try and get the gang back together."

"And the first on our list is the Greatest Lancer, Lancaster?" Isaac asked.

"Yep," replied Isaac, "He should be somewhere in the Ricker Mountains."

They soon saw a town in the distance. When they came up to the inside, they saw people laying on the ground. 

"Hey," One townsmen said to another, "If you close your eyes and plug your nose, dirt kind of tastes like water."

"That makes zero sense," The second townsmen said, "But I'm so desperate, I'm going to try it."

The two weakly shoveled dirt into their mouths, doing the things the first said.

"What's going on here?" Katherine asked, "A water shortage?"

"Indeed," A short old man said, suddenly appearing, "This village has been under a water shortage for the past few weeks."

"What's causing it?" Katherine asked.

The man hung his head in shame, and mumbled an answer. 

"Beavers," He said. 

"I'm sorry..." Isaac said, "Did you say...beavers?"

"Yes, beavers," the old man said, feeling more shame, "They built a dam on the river where we get our water, and they refuse to share their water."

Leonard smelt a job from this.

"So," Leonard began, "If we were to get rid of these beavers, would you pay us to do so?"

The old man looked shocked, and said, "Oh please, get rid of those pests! We'll pay you!"

"It's settled then!" Leonard said, shaking the man's hand. He then waved Katherine and Isaac along. "Come along you two! We got some hunting to do!"

"Careful, young one!" The old man yelled after them, "They beavers are giant!"

Katherine tried to punch Leonard, but Isaac pulled her back.

"You seem so willing to take a job now!" She yelled.

"Hey, this trip to reunite my friends will take a while!" Leonard replied, "Might as well make the most of it right?"

"Well, it would have helped if you asked where the dam was," Isaac said, struggled to hold back Katherine's fury. 

"The old guy said it was on the river," Leonard said, pointing to the dried up river, "We follow that, we find the dam."


Why yes, I am running out of ifeasy

Message to Readers

Any feedback is great

Peer Review

I like how the story moves along fast and it kept me hooked, I really want to read more. Also, I like how you put an extra space in between each paragraph, that somehow makes it way easier to read and I read it way faster.

Like I said, this piece is really good, it kept me hooked, the characters are interesting...Maybe you could use some more description on this one...Overall, it was awesome!!!

Reviewer Comments

I enjoyed reading this, like the first one. I'm looking forward to a third chapter, if possible :) Great work again!!!