rainandsonder

United States

pfp from the album “castaways and cutouts” by the decemberists.

infp- enneagram 4w6- currently attempting to learn how to bake.

Message from Writer

"My brother once showed me a piece of quartz that contained, he said, some trapped water older than all the seas in our world. He held it up to my ear. ‘Listen,’ he said, ‘life and no escape.'" - Anne Carson

lowercase is intentional.

Stay Awake, or Writing a Poem About Not Sleeping at 3AM, Which Contributes to the Problem I Suppose

December 17, 2018

FREE WRITING

19
Smoke-wreathed mornings and
black-ichor nights:
bags like sideways moons
under your eyes
and the feeling of drowning
in your own blood.
Watch the walls
until they swim with
the breath of the sleepless
and a thousand thoughts
like tally marks.
Stuffy nights and
freezing days,
a heartbeat under the bed,
a heartbeat scared that if
it slows it might stop---
if your heart drums through
the night and no one's around to hear it,
what's to say it's not there?
The shapes behind your eyelids
give you bad dreams
so best to stay awake tonight.
Smoke-wreathed thoughts
and black ichor heart.
I'm honestly kinda proud of this but I'm afraid it's too pretentious. Thoughts?

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

6 Comments
  • spearmint

    This was just so cool!! I am so writing a review!


    over 1 year ago
  • nezi_nes

    I especially love the lines "Watch the walls until they swim with the breath of the sleepless". It's original and vivid. Overall, very poetic and flows well.


    over 1 year ago
  • paperbird

    this is really, really good—possibly the best poem i’ve read of yours. your rhythms are amazing and your descriptions are masterful; i particularly like the first few lines—“smoked-wreathed mornings and black-ichor nights” and the repetition at the end. truly beautiful.


    over 1 year ago
  • NightReader

    This is my life as a poem


    over 1 year ago
  • AbigailSauble

    No, this is beautiful and descriptive! =)


    over 1 year ago
  • omicron7889

    Pretentious? Absolutely not. Enthralling, captivating and semi-hypnotic? Yes. Definitely yes.


    over 1 year ago