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Bio? Well, I'm still trying to figure it out.

Message from Writer

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To read and listen to these words:
Writers from all across the world,
you're not losing your time
by creating heroes
and making words rhyme.
Don't ever think you are zeroes
or committing a crime
when you say that red is the rose
and the violet is blue.
With paper and pencil, you can always be you,
and your fantasies and dreams can all become true.

The Doomsday Device

January 31, 2016



SETTING:     The stage is Heaven. It has a lot of illumination, and there is a window UPSTAGE LEFT, which is supposedly used to look at Earth. There is a golden throne STAGE RIGHT. In addition, there is a red button on the floor with the inscription “Doomsday.”
GOD enters from STAGE LEFT. Just as He enters, the chant “Alleluia” is playing. He picks up his phone, and as He answers it the music stops indicating that the music was His ringtone.
GOD              Yes? (brief pause) Oh Me, Saint Peter, your job is simple. I don’t know why you always need me to go down to the gate to tell who can come in. I have told you 144,000 times: if they regret their sins and apologize, let them in. I can’t understand how you don’t know how to your job after 2,000 years, and I am omniscient! (brief pause) What? No, we don’t have a list. Who do you think we are? Saint Nicholas? (brief pause) Yes, exactly. If they say “sorry,” you say: “Welcome to Heaven! You must be exhausted; please have some wine and bread!” (brief pause) Don’t worry, you are doing fine. Plus, this is easier than your previous job as the leader of a prosecuted group. Have a nice rest of eternity (he hangs up).
LUCIFER sneaks from STAGE RIGHT. GOD crosses DOWNSTAGE CENTER, but He doesn’t see LUCIFER.
GOD              Who’s there?
LUCIFER       (he giggles) I have been called many names throughout history. The Serpent, Hades, Herod, King John, Hitler, Stalin… And so on! Oh and my favorite one so far, Donald Trump! (he giggles) But you can call whatever you want (he giggles).
GOD              Lucifer! What are you doing here? How did you get in?
LUCIFER crosses DOWNSTAGE RIGHT and stretches his hand to GOD, but He rejects it.
LUCIFER       I realized that everyone that comes in here says the same exact word, so I guessed it must be the password.
GOD              Which was?
LUCIFER       Sorry.
GOD crosses DOWNSTAGE LEFT and whispers to Himself.
GOD              This is what happens when you are infinitely merciful.
LUCIFER       Excuse me?
GOD              Nothing. What are you doing here, Lucifer? I told you already: you have restricted access.
LUCIFER       My AC is broken and my place is hot as hell right now, so I thought I’d stop by and say hi to an old friend. Is Eve home? (he giggles) Oh what’s this?

LUCIFER crosses to CENTER STAGE and picks up the “Doomsday” button.
LUCIFER       Oh I see. Is this what starts the last war between Heaven and Hell that eventually leads to the apocalypse and absolute destruction of the world?!   
GOD              Maybe.
LUCIFER       Can I press it, please? Can I press it? Please, please, please, please.
GOD crosses to STAGE RIGHT and stares back at LUCIFER.
GOD              You fool! You would cause the death of millions!
LUCIFER crosses to STAGE LEFT and turns his back at GOD
LUCIFER       (with a serious and dark tone) Oh come on! They deserve to die! Men are wicked by nature. They are corrupt and sinful, and if you look at the hearts of every single one of them, you will find no one that is fully pure or worth it. (Cheerful tone again) Except, perhaps, that new Pope that you hired. What a nice guy that he is (he giggles).
GOD              I will do the judging, thank you. Humans are neither evil nor good. Their actions are. They can all sin, but they all have the same potential for good. It is true that the world of men is full of wars and injustice, but it is also full of beautiful things. There are pacifists that sacrifice themselves for peace, missionaries that dedicate their lives to help children in Africa, policemen that risk their lives everyday to protect their brothers and sisters, men and women that spend years preparing themselves to be able to save lives on a daily basis. For every life that war takes, 5 lives are spared.
LUCIFER       But tell me, about what things do the news reporters talk at the end of the day (he giggles)?
GOD              I don’t need to listen to your malicious words, Satan. Go to hell with, huh, sorry, what is your wife’s name again?
LUCIFER       You talking about Babylon.
GOD              Hmmm, yes. We have another name for her up here, (while coughing) The Great Whore.
LUCIFER       Ha-ha. Very funny. And for the record, she is not my wife. We have an open relationship. She can sin with anyone that she wants to.
GOD              Look at my genderless face, Lucifer. Does it look like I care about your private life?
LUCIFER       At least I didn’t get my own virgin mother pregnant!
GOD              I forgive your blasphemy, for I do not expect you to understand the mystery of the Holy Trinity. Now, if you excuse me, there are prayers I must listen to.
LUCIFER       (under his breath) Okay, I get it. No one can start the apocalypse but Him. Who does He think He is? The omnipotent and all-knowing Flying Spaghetti Monster?
LUCIFER places the “Doomsday” button on the throne.
LUCIFER       (out loud) After all, you were the one that created the world, so you should have the right to destroy it as well (he giggles).
GOD              For the last time, if it weren’t because of your stupid rebellion, none of this would have started and I wouldn’t need to destroy the world in order to eradicate evil.
LUCIFER       Okay, maybe I got a little jelly and things got out of hand…
GOD              A little jelly?! You call corrupting the soul of humanity and the original sin the result of you getting a little jelly?! Jesus Christ! (He yells to OFF-STAGE RIGHT) No, not you Son. Just keep saving the world or whatever you were doing.
LUCIFER crosses UPSTAGE LEFT and looks out the window. There are gunshots and explosions as background noise.
LUCIFER       (with a serious tone) Look at them killing each other. I’m right here with You, not there whispering into their ears. It wasn’t me who told them to murder each other. They decided to go to war by themselves. Is it really my fault, or are humans this way by intrinsic nature?
GOD crosses to STAGE CENTER and looks at the audience with an intense bright white spotlight upon Him.
GOD              (to the audience) Why? Why do you keep fighting each other? Why do you keep killing your brothers and sisters? What is it that leads you into living with such violence and hatred? (He crosses downstage center) When I look through my window, I don’t see men or women, I don’t see white or black, I don’t see English or Russian, I don’t see straight or gay, and I don’t care what they say. I only see people. People that are living in pointless wars with one another, and let me tell you something. You don’t have to. Every single one of you has the potential to be at peace with your neighbors. Every single one of you can love your worst enemies. You just need to choose to. Humans were created with free will and with the ability to sin and to love. So go ahead! Choose what path you want to follow!
The spotlight fades. LUCIFER crosses to CENTER STAGE.
LUCIFER       Will you just stop breaking the fourth wall! It’s pointless. They are humans; do you really think they understand what peace and love mean?
GOD              Enough! (He sits on the throne and picks up the “Doomsday” button) You are aware that by pressing this button I would unleash legions of angels against your demons, right? An according to Saint John’s stats, we win.
LUCIFER       Oh, You and Your stupid Book of Revelations. Bring it on, old man! Fight me!
GOD              I have an army!
LUCIFER       I have a Hulk! He rented an apartment in the fifth ring of Hell.
GOD              I have a secret weapon in my arsenal, one that has ended countless amounts of wars.
LUCIFER crosses his arms and crosses to STAGE LEFT.
LUCIFER       (sarcastically) Oh really? And what is it then? The Great Flood, or a white pigeon? Oh, let me guess! The four horsemen, right? Hell, they look like the Power Rangers with all those different colors! I mean, there is a red one, a yellow one, a white one, and even a black one.
GOD              Let me show you.
GOD exits STAGE LEFT. He then enters STAGE LEFT, hugs LUCIFER, and whispers into his ear. He exits STAGE RIGHT.
LUCIFER       (infuriated) Sorry? SORRY?! That’s your secret weapon?! Peace?! Oh Hell no! That’s just cheating!
LUCIFER picks up the “Doomsday” button, breaks it, and angrily exits STAGE LEFT.


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  • January 31, 2016 - 10:00pm (Now Viewing)

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