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Green Christmas

November 30, 2018

I am from green Christmas
Risking a jump into an unheated pool at night
Feeling a hurricane of shivers attack me
Cascading down my spine
Spreading its icy feeling all over my body
Nearly stopping my heart from the shock of its freezing jaws
As I scramble out and splash back into the sizzling hot tub
Gaining the title- a new, proud member of the Polar Bear Club

I am from many failed attempts 
Stinging scratches
Bleeding cuts
Puncturing needles that make me wonder if decorating a cactus would be any less painful.
As my dad and I try to string,
Blinding blue lights
Around and around the blooming palm tree in our front yard
Who, like a grumpy old Scrooge, refuses to have any room...
for Christmas in his heart,
And decorations on his spiny trunk

I am from never-ending shopping trips,
Rushing out of the mall, 
In our littered-with-toys minivan
And splitting up to get as much shopping done as humanly possible
Before meeting at the smokey restaurant of 
California Pizza Kitchen.

I am from many late hours spent, 
Covering up presents 
With more tape than paper
And finding the perfect spot to hide them,
Safe from the eyes of my curiously mischievous brother and sister

I am from endless rows of evergreen trees
The fresh, minty smell of pine
That reminds me of the snow I desire so badly
But never receive

I am from "This one's too small"
and "This one won't fit through the door!"
From "Too scrawny" and "Too expensive" 
And feeling bad for the shedding ones
Who may never get picked to be brought home and decorated
Who will spend the time for family-
all by themselves,
Left to decompose into the soil
From "This one's perfect!" 
And watching Dad struggle to tie our new tree on top of the car
Wanting to help, but afraid if I get within fifty feet
I'll be crushed by a thousand pine needles 

I am from driving back home
with the 'perfect' tree
And looking back at the little ones
A pang of guilt ruthlessly stabbing my heart

I am from long afternoons, 
Spent hanging glowing orbs from thick branches
While listening to
Jingle-bell Rock
Feliz Navidad
And annoyingly catchy songs from my cousins Winnie The Pooh Christmas CD

I am from buttery popcorn
Who's kernels get stuck in my teeth
Making me spend hours attempting to pick them out
While cracking up over Elf
Or crying during Frosty the Snowman
Or snuggling close to my brother and sister while watching a Charlie Brown Christmas
Once again feeling immensely guilty for the scrawny trees
That might never be decorated.

I am from getting to Church an hour early
And still not getting a seat
From having to stand in the back and anxiously fiddle my fingers
Trying to listen to the story I've heard over a million times-
About how our savior was born.
But trying even harder to not fall asleep in my dad's warm, comforting arms

I am from creamy Lobster Mac and Cheese
At our favorite dinner place
From extensive drives home
Admiring the gorgeous display of lights.
Laughing at cardboard lit up Santa's
Or the blown up Rudolfs

I am from searching the inky black, star littered skies for the real Rudolf 
From "I see something" 
And "Over there!" 
And "I'm hungry!" Followed by the other complaints of my always starving brother. 

I am from writing letters,
from baking cookies
from checking Norad Santa Tracker
And realizing with frustration he's still in Norway.

I am from "he won't come until you're sleeping!" 
From long lights unable to close my eyes for a second.
Overwhelmed with excitment. 
Of celebrating yet another-
Green Christmas


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  • November 30, 2018 - 11:12am (Now Viewing)

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