Peer Review by korra4life (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

Selfless #ICBYShortStory

By: AbigailSauble


I stared across the table at Marianne in shock. 
   "You guys broke up? Why?" I couldn't believe my own ears. Marianne and Samuel were two weeks away from their wedding day. February 14th. The most romantic date ever. I was to be the maid-of-honor. 
   Marianne shrugged and lifted the fizzing soda-filled glass to her lips. She took a small sip; shrugged again. "I don't know. I guess we weren't really meant for each other after all." Then her eyes cut to mine. 
My heart sank. She knows. 
"Besides," she continued, "you love him, don't you?" 
   I couldn't breathe. Marianne had figured it out. I lowered my eyes; I couldn't look her in the face. Heat rushed onto my cheeks. 
"He's all yours, Renee. I give you my blessing." Marianne leaned forward, her hand connected with mine. Her eyes soft, tearful. "Because there's no one else meant for Samuel than you."  

Peer Review

I'm surprised at how Marianne and Samuel broke up TWO WEEKS from their wedding date. Alright, I'm going to sound so ridiculous in a second, but I have to say this: Are you kidding me???????? After all of the money and time that has gone into this wedding, they're just going to break up? I bet their families are so irritated and shocked. It's not just the cost that's bothering me. I also don't like the fact that weddings require so much personal devotion that I get really irritated at canceled weddings. I mean, great for figuring out that you guys aren't meant for one another. But couldn't you figure that out before deciding to get married? Sorry, I'm ranting for absolutely no reason. Last year, I had to help my 3 siblings plan for each of their weddings. It was stressful and I think I've decided never to get married, XD.

I would love to know the chemistry between Renee and Samuel. And how did Marianne find out? Who broke it off, Marianne or Samuel? If you could expand on this story, that would be perfect! I really do love it, especially with how Marianne gives Renee her blessing. Some friends would be petty and not give it.

Reviewer Comments

Absolutely amazing piece, once again! This is, again, pretty relatable (or at least it is compared to movies). I love the way you're able to describe the events occurring in such an easy but powerful way.
Side note: I would love some more description on the setting. I'm not getting much from this and would love if more could be said about where they are. It's good right now, and I would hate for the setting to distract from the storyline, but I just wanted to mention it.