Peer Review by janice (United States)

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“Again” ICBY Short Story

By: Lee Fudge


FREE WRITING

I want to say “I can’t believe you to her”, but what would she say? Is she still even there? She’s doing her best, am I the jerk here?

No, she is. I’ve came back to her work everyday. We talk sometimes, she should know my preferences by now. What, does she forget what I get every single day, like she has the memory of a goldfish?

I sigh, and pick up the bun to look again.

The fast food lady put mayonnaise on my burger again.


Message to Readers

Any feedback is great


Peer Review

The punch line at the end was AMAZING. The was you built up the irony without the reader realizing it was very well done. I thought it was about some secret ritual or something. Though maybe fast-food is a ritual to some...


I would pay close attention to your grammar and try to vary your words more. I feel like the mistakes (albeit few) in this piece come from not checking rather than not knowing. Other than that, I have little else to say other than you need to post more humor pieces, because this is amazing!


Reviewer Comments

Great job, and keep writing!