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jaez_

Singapore

Message to Readers

I would greatly appreciate all sorts of feedback for this writing of mine and do give me tips on how I can improve it!

"I like you, I do. But..."

January 29, 2016

There she was. The love of my life. I've been in love with her ever since we were both little kids, roaming through the streets together, playing hide-and-seek in her humongous house, building sandcastles in her backyard, having sleepovers in her tree house. 

There she was. Swinging forward and backwards on the playground swing. I held on to the bouquet of roses tightly, taking in deep breaths. I was going to confess to her. I was going to make her mine today. It wasn't that easy - especially to the girl who had been your bestfriend ever since the both of you were young. 

I've tried countless times to forget about her and move on when she told me she was crushing on Jason, our high school's most popular jock. Well, he was good-looking I guess? But he wasn't really that smart at all. She told me she liked a guy who is smart, good-looking and funny. He wasn't smart nor funny at all - he was infamous for being a playboy and not knowing how cheese is made in school. 

I feel hurt whenever she squeals and fangirls over him to me, telling me about how Jason winked at her and how hot he looked when he walked through those doors. I feel jealous whenever she stares at him dreamily, putting her head on her palm and sighing, thinking about how her future life would be like if she was to date and then marry him. 

" Derek! " She looked up from the sand around her and grinned widely at me, waving her petite hand as she jumped off the swing, running over to give me a big hug. " Come on, take a seat! " She chuckled loudly, ruffling my hair as she went back to the swing, kicking off from the sand and swinging lightly back and forth," So what do you want to tell me? " 

" I- " Before I could even utter a full sentence, she interrupted me with her hand. " Oh! I almost forgot -  I've got great news to tell you by the way! But since you seem to have more important news to tell me... spit it out. What is it? " 

She looked so beautiful tonight. I could smell the familiar strawberry scent, coming from her. I glanced at her - she was wearing the sweater that I've given her for her 17th birthday last year, along with a pair of jeans and a pair of converse shoes. 

I took a deep breath again, and showed her the bouquet of roses that I've been hiding the whole time behind my back. " Alisha. I know that this may be a little bit shocking and too much for you but I want to tell you that I like you. I've liked you ever since we were kids. I've liked you ever since we were drinking bubble teas on our way back home, ever since we were playing monopoly in my room, ever since we went to school together and ever since you've existed in my life. I like you a lot- no scratch that. I love you, Alisha. Could you please, be my girlfriend? " 

Her eyes widened slightly with shock and she gasped softly with her hand raised to cover her mouth. To be very honest, I had this tiny bit of hope, that she would accept me. After all, we've been bestfriends ever since we were kids. I knew things about her that she probably didn't know herself. I knew how she had this habit of scrunching her nose when she's feeling sleepy, I knew how she loved eating bread even though she claims that it makes her fat. I knew everything about her, I understood her the best. She wouldn't reject me, right?

" I- I like you, I do. But... " I sat up upright when I heard her saying that she liked me too but my shoulders dropped upon hearing her add ' but ' on to her sentence. " I wanted to tell you that I've confessed to Jason just now... and he accepted me. We're dating already. I'm so sorry, Derek. I've never known that you've always had a crush on me, or maybe even love me. Maybe I was too dense... or maybe your ' love ' for me just wasn't that strong at all for me to have noticed. I'm sorry. We're still best friends, right? " She flashed a bright smile at me, I could sense a bit of pity in her smile, but I gave her a small smile in return, nodding. " Y-yeah. Best friends. "

It was as if my confession to her did not even happen at all, because she started to tell me all about her day today with Jason. " He took me to the movies and we watched the most romantic movie ever together, isn't he amazing? After that, he took me to a fancy restaurant and we ate steak just now. Oh my god. I'm dying here already, Dereck. He's so sweet! I'm so fortunate to have him as my boyfriend, ain't I? " 

" Yeah... you're very fortunate. " I forced a smile and nodded, looking down at my phone before I stood up. " Mom wants me back home now- Well you can have these roses. You remember Jane, the florist who works downtown? Yeah. She gave them to me since no one bought them and she was going to close for the day. Go back home soon ok and... last long with Jason. " I turned away, walking as fast as I could. I pretended to not hear her calling after me. I reached home in no time and I slammed my bedroom door behind me, sliding down onto the ground, clutching my chest. It hurts. It hurts to see how brightly she smiled upon speaking about Jason. To see the smile that I've never seen before this whole time when we hung out together, hurts a lot. To see her talk about a guy that wasn't me, hurts a lot. To see her happy because of someone that wasn't me, huts a lot. 
I'm not a great writer, with great vocabulary and great sense of grammar at all. My teacher recommended my class to use this website, saying that we could write stories here and share it. So, yeah. : - ) Hope you guys enjoyed it! Oh and please do give me some tips on how I can further improve my writing, grammar and especially vocabulary!

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