Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
"Catnap" is a short story I needed to write for my English class. I'm not really sure how I feel about it, but thought I would share!
I really liked the concept of your story - the plot twist was unique and interesting, and I didn't see it coming at the beginning!
To make this story even better, I think you could have added some more details throughout the piece, rather than squishing them all at the end. Maybe you could explore the main persona's characterisation a little more - some sort of a backstory, or past experiences would help. As a reader, I'm keen to know more about what actually happened 20 years ago - how did the persona feel when she fell asleep? How old is she now? How does she feel, knowing that she has missed two decades of her life?
Really well done tackling a very unique story idea! Firstly, I'd just like to say that you, as the reader, have full creative control over this piece - my suggestions are simply my personal opinion, and it's up to you to what extent you incorporate my feedback. Secondly, I've noticed a couple of grammatical errors throughout and I've left little suggestions on how to fix those, so please don't be overwhelmed by how much of the text is highlighted! Although grammar doesn't make or break a story, it plays a big role in the clarity of your writing.
In terms of additional comments, I would suggest expanding this story into a slightly longer piece - it's such a complicated idea that it seems almost impossible to fit it into this short length. The end of your writing has more "tell", than "show" - the statements like "the government had endured many reforms and changes" don't really add much to the story and are simple facts being told, rather than an element of the story being described. With a little bit of expansion at the end of the story, focusing in on the persona's emotions after having woken up rather than concentrating on describing the new world of 2038, your story will be an even more enjoyable read! Keep going and well done!