Peer Review by loveletterstosappho (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

10:50 p.m.

By: brianna_c2019


 -  stepping forward,
    accepting what is in front of me,
    accepting myself.

    stepping up,
    grasping the air.
    breathing in, exhaling out--
    stepping forward and 
    watching the rain

    feeling the droplets quench the thirst of my body
    my body breathes in with every raindrop
    it is so bittersweet,
    the way it waters the flowers,
    yet turns the ground so soggy.
    it is so bittersweet-
    how i indulge in the rain,
    but shun myself when my eyes
    simply do the same.

Peer Review

I especially love the repetition! The structure of each line and each stanza is also very clean while also feeling natural, same applies to the rhythm.

I think adding more would clog the flow of the piece, unless done very artfully. The ambiguity is part of what makes it so beautiful, in my opinion.

Reviewer Comments

I just love this entire poem, it's incredible and so well-written. One question, though - what's the significance of the title?