Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
This is fictional, but it displays some of my dismay over religion in my life. I hope you like it ❤️
I loved the setting and the idea--the symbolic confrontation between questioning teenager and passionate priest. Your ideas were stated so clearly, and it really struck a note. As an atheist I have always wondered about these things. The sentence in which you state that the priest's voice is passionate and you are jealous of him was particularly relatable to me. Personally, I like to think of religion as an ethical concept rather than one based off of belief. I don't believe in a supernatural God, but I like to think that I obey the religious principles anyway in being a good person.
As I stated in the highlights, your piece could benefit from more description of the characters and setting. The scene-building that you do have is excellent, and I think that you could add to that. I also think that you could include more buildup. The beginning scene in which it's just the teenager and the Church is key, as it represents the dynamic between them. Make sure you're portraying everything you need to in that scene using the character's emotions--confusion, sadness, anger. And more description, as said before. Everything is always more powerful if you let your descriptions flow.
I loved this; truly a pleasure to read. Your entire piece was so well-written and interestingly told. The symbolism, the character building, and the orchestration were all magnificent. I love your writing and it never disappoints. Great work and keep writing!