Eaccd622 66c5 48ab 878f 4aff3503487b

paperbird

United States

Message to Readers

I usually hate my poems but when I first published this I realized that I liked it, so I decided to tweak it and enter it to the contest. Feedback really appreciated; I'd love to make it better.

bicycling #icbypoetry

November 26, 2018

FREE WRITING

3
the air had whipped my cheeks raw
our wind-stained faces, side by side
i laughed up snot
and tears dripped from dry eyes
on the bicycles, running again
autumn bit at exposed fingers
we doubled back
and our feet hung limply at the pedals
i felt sick, so we stayed there
catching our breath till the wind picked us up again
it went like this:
i drove, and you were behind me
we met a stranger, and one halted
so the other could talk amiably
we drove again, and they were in zig-zags
swooping like doves
until one fell off her bike;
it was the wind that made her cry
back together, the storm is starting
the pedals are spinning out of control
but it was the wind, again, that saved us
pushed us back to the dryness of
pedaling on an autumn day

everything is so much harder now
winter was cold and summer hot
and maybe i'll always look back on our bicycles when
you say we could go there again
visit the autumn and the sun-drenched morning...
but i always laugh at you because of course
i can't believe you.

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  • November 26, 2018 - 2:42pm (Now Viewing)

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2 Comments
  • AminahMcBina

    Hi,
    I just looked back on some notes I was taking on the contest entries, and I had your "Set the World on Fire" in the top three. This piece would go in the honourable mentions (as of right now); but if you want, I'll excuse you to keep both entries.

    -Mina


    7 months ago
  • AminahMcBina

    This piece was very well-written! I felt as if I were the riders, your use of descriptive words and imagery are so delicately places, it's amazing!

    Thanks for entering my contest, good luck!
    -Mina


    7 months ago