Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Forecasting temperatures of around 48 degrees Celcius (118.4 Fahrenheit) for Christmas down under. yike
This piece beautifully and effectively uses sensory imagery, encouraging my gustatory, visual, tactile, olfactory and auditory receptors to engage!
Perhaps this piece would benefit from a little more imagery, or an explanation as to why snow is so desirable for the persona?
This piece possesses some really strong moments of compelling imagery and language. To make it even stronger, I would suggest deepening the topic by expanding on the persona's characterisation, and making their motivation something deeper than simply wishing for snow.