Peer Review by Steph Ritz (United Kingdom)

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To Walk in the Snow

By: Saman


FREE WRITING

I will walk to my own beat.


While I may be tempted to walk in the cadence of those around me,
I will keep to my pace,
Because it is mine.

You cannot dictate where I go,
The direction I walk,
The path I take,
Because I may choose the road not taken,
I may choose the less trodden path,
I may walk in others footsteps then
Fall out of step and
The road is mine to make.

Cadence booms through the trees
Relentless and unbowing
But I
I will keep to my own pace because
My stride will be my own.
My path will be mine to take,
And my steps are for me alone.
 

This was inspired by “The Dead Poet’s Society,” a amazing, heart-wrenching movie that I recommend to all writers and non-writers alike.

Message to Readers

Feedback is always welcome.


Peer Review

I really enjoyed the repetition of the noun cadence as it gave the entire piece a lyrical, musical tone. The anaphoric 'I may.....I may' alongside the paired ending 'path' is also rhythmic and backs the notion of the individuals own beat. The line 'The road is mine to make' strikes a chord with readers, I think, after the enjambment after 'path' so this works beautifully. The natural imagery of trees gave me shivers and is almost like a heartbeat where it 'booms'.


A small detail may be to make a stanza of the last line to replicate the stanza of the first line. With respect to freedom, I enjoy the blank verse but possibly trying similar sentiment in a formed poem like a ballad or even a continued rhyme scheme might be a cool idea to play with.


Reviewer Comments

Dead Poets Society is fucking great.