this is the turning point

fifty shades of uncertainty

November 19, 2018


when we are bored of chess,
and we end the whole 'teenage-date' thing,
do not carry the burden of my emotions longer than needed.
you do not understand, 
they tell me No every single day,
i know i never will be enough.
you are a single hair, amongst my growing museum
a chair, without a ready-made table.
your cliche is kissing underneath movie screens, 
mine is to block them.
it only ever ends one way.

asphyxiation is somewhere i will never achieve,
wallowing in wounds of my poetry, 
asking if it was because of my 80kg body.
or if my cheekbones are dimpled, freckled and poreless. 
i wonder if someone could actually love me Enough,
to actually fight for me.
not just to toy me,
until their unsettled craving is filled.

every rejection i am used to.
ive seen each combination sput out of devilish cords. 
instead of asking me how i feel,
i ask how they want me to feel.
the butterflies, are kept in the zoo.
i imagine me without you. 
this is my love poem. 
my never-ending cycle of uncertainty,
laced with alcohol,
this i am who is. 



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1 Comment
  • Silver Pen

    Hey. Chin up. You are good enough. :)

    10 months ago