when we are bored of chess,
and we end the whole 'teenage-date' thing,
do not carry the burden of my emotions longer than needed.
you do not understand,
they tell me No every single day,
i know i never will be enough.
you are a single hair, amongst my growing museum
a chair, without a ready-made table.
your cliche is kissing underneath movie screens,
mine is to block them.
it only ever ends one way.
asphyxiation is somewhere i will never achieve,
wallowing in wounds of my poetry,
asking if it was because of my 80kg body.
or if my cheekbones are dimpled, freckled and poreless.
i wonder if someone could actually love me Enough,
to actually fight for me.
not just to toy me,
until their unsettled craving is filled.
every rejection i am used to.
ive seen each combination sput out of devilish cords.
instead of asking me how i feel,
i ask how they want me to feel.
the butterflies, are kept in the zoo.
i imagine me without you.
this is my love poem.
my never-ending cycle of uncertainty,
laced with alcohol,
this i am who is.